Background:
Mid/late 20s
No kids
Not married, but have been together for a few years
Live together
Work for same mid-sized company in different depts. He could be unpleasant at work, and I fear the fallout from my personal life spilling over into my professional life.
No family in the region at all, or friends who I could stay with, but I think I can just about afford to rent a studio flat by myself. I have some savings for a rainy day.
Detail:
I'm seriously considering leaving DP in the near future.
Things were great at the start (aren't they always?) but have gone downhill. I think the rot set in when we both had depression for different, external reasons.
Sex has dwindled to nothing.
He doesn't pull his weight around the house. Things that are clearly not my fault (e.g. him not doing his washing up) are blamed on me for spurious, nonsensical reasons. Sometimes I find myself biting my tongue just to avoid him saying something hurtful; for a quiet life.
He's never been violent, and I don't believe he ever would be.
He tells me he doesn't think it's going to work out long term, and that he thinks we should break up. I'm starting to think I agree with him - I can live like this in the short term, but not forever.
I love him - but I'm not sure if I'm still in love with him.
But - the good times are still good. We go out and do fun things together. We laugh together. But is it enough? I don't know.
If I was to leave, he would try to stop me from taking our shared pet with me. I wouldn't leave it with him because he would neglect it. For this reason, I'd have to leave at short notice when he happens to go away.
Am I mad to consider hiring a van, going into an AirBnB for a couple of weeks, taking everything with me, and then househunting from there? As I say, there's no one I can stay with.
The fact we work together makes it a lot harder - I'd be concerned that he'd try to make life difficult for me at work - as I say, it's a mid-sized organisation, but different departments. Would I be unreasonable to email both my managers and his to let them know what has happened and preempt any nonsense? I'd also be concerned that he might follow me home from work to try and take the pet.
Sorry for the train of thought. I just want some external input from people completely detached from the situation 