This is going to very long, so I apologise in advance. Basically, as the title says, I need someone to knock some sense into me.
I got married over two years ago, to someone who considered to be pretty perfect. He supported me in every way (except financially) and was my best friend. We got on brilliantly and were forever having a laugh and thoroughly enjoying each others company. My family and friends loved him too. I couldn't fault him, except an occasional temper in which things in the house would be broken, but this was only occasionally. I cannot emphasise how good we were together.
We had a good year of marriage, and then I discovered I was pregnant. He was very supportive during my pregnancy, but there were a couple of occasions when he became physically aggressive (pushing, shoving, pinning me to the wall). However he was very apologetic afterwards.
Roll on to when I had my child and had an extremely traumatic time of it (think nearly dead/no more children) and he frequently left me in hospital as 'he was not my slave'.
Four weeks later and me and baby were finally home. He spent little time with us as 'I was a nightmare' and constantly criticising him apparently. When he was with us, he was verbally and physically aggressive (including in front of baby), eventually this escalated to him grabbing me by the throat on multiple occasions. He eventually left reporting that I always wanted it to be just me and my baby.
Roll on about 14 months later and I still miss him and still giving him a chance to prove himself 
I have had awful texts from him and he's been a nasty piece of work on occasions. I've tried to encourage him to have a relationship with his child, but he has not. He sees him very occasionally, supervised by me for only a couple of hours at a time (his choice).
However, he went to his GP a year ago for depression and PTSD and he reports frequent flashbacks about nearly losing his wife.
Can his behaviour be linked to this? And could he go back to being the person I thought he was. Or should I accept that it's over and move on?
Our case went to MARAC, I've had HV and family practitioner support and I've also been forced to do the freedom project.
The freedom project has just confused me more, as he was always the 'good husband' and I cannot see any red flags (other than a temper) when I think back to our relationship.
I just don't know what to do. I miss him immensely, but don't want to risk being in an abusive relationship. But what if this was just a major blip because of what we went through?