Never posted here before so sorry if I don't get it right.
Mum has dementia with levy bodies. Lost all mobility and has very bad hallucinations.
I live a distance away and have a full time job and young children.
Two sister sisters who live locally but have very little to do with my parents.
I also am NC with sisters. I used to be very close to my middle sister but have had disagreements which have escalated to the point we cannot talk to each other without wanting to kill each other.
I have come to realise that this all resulted from a huge arguement that my mum and dad had with her and that I was manipulated by them into taking sides. Of course I am an adult with my own decisions but when someone has been part villianised all your life then you believe what they say and take a side.
My Dad cannot cope with my mum. He has no friends and no other support other than me.
Obviously given my location and family of my own that is limited and have always felt that anything I do is not good enough. I used to work in elderly care but I know nothing according to him.
It too kind much coaxing and persuading to get them to move to an extra care scheme. He was constantly changing his mind, one minute he wanted to and the next he didn't.
I helped to arrange removals, found furniture etc- none of it is good enough.
He will not ring me. He says it is my job as the child to call him. Even when she has been admitted to hospital he does not call. on one occasion I knew nothing about it until I rang by chance a few days later.
He does not even call at Christmas or on my birthday.
On Father's Day I sent a card and chocolates and called on the day. When I said 'happy father day' his reply was 'are you joking' and then after balling me out put the phone down.
I have tried to get him to join groups, get support etc but it is always refused.
My birthday was just after Father's Day. He ignored me on the and sent a late card. I got upset and my very patient husband lost his temper and sent a text telling him that he was going to make sure I didn't visit again.
My dad sent no reply to my husband but text me saying he will never ask for my help again.
When I did call him he tried to make me apologise for my husband .
I understand that he struggles to cope but there isn't anything physically wrong with him but he has not make it all about him!
Sorry not sure any of this makes sense but needed to rant