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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex's family

6 replies

Jackiesdaughter · 12/07/2017 12:17

Have posted before about my marriage breakup in 2015. Not yet divorced, ex wouldn't move anything forward and we lived together for twenty months after the separation. I changed the locks in January this year as I couldn't take anymore of the misery of living with my ex. My daughter hated living how we were too and had her GCSEs coming up at the time. She's much happier now and was able to sit her exams in June. I don't think she would have been able to do so had I not changed the locks and improved the situation. My daughters don't want to see their dad at the moment because he used a back door key to access the house during the night and because of how he is generally.
I'm in a bit of a dilemma now as ex's sister who I thought was a friend (!) rang me last night in a complete state blaming me for everything saying her brother has lost everything and I am holding all the cards as I am in the house, children are with me and I've even got the dog. I remained calm but I am not sure how to handle the situation moving forward or what she wants me to do. She accused me of not being aware of how the separation has affected the wider family. I think she's had pressure to cut ties with me from older aunts and uncles who are now not speaking to her. Just looking for any advice as to what to do and how to handle this. Thanks

OP posts:
XJerseyGirlX · 12/07/2017 12:22

Tell her to mind her own business and if she interested in listening to both sides then to " bugger off"

Concentrate on your family, not pleasing everyone else because they put a guilt trip on you.

Justhadmyhaircut · 12/07/2017 12:26

Surely a perk of having an ex is that they now have to deal with their family?? Block her and ignore. .
If she hasn't been arsed how you and her dn have been at all then she isn't a concern to you. .

hellsbellsmelons · 12/07/2017 12:32

I think, block, ignore, delete is the way forward on this one.
Can you do that?

user1498166085 · 12/07/2017 13:07

Why on earth would you think you have the right to change the locks? That is his house too. You are completely out of order, and what you did was illegal.

hellsbellsmelons · 12/07/2017 14:37

How do you know that user ??
OP hasn't put anywhere about who's name the house is under.
If it's rented or mortgaged.
Who pays the mortgage or anything else for that matter.
And just sometimes, we snap!
We are allowed to you know.
People can push and push until you do something radical about it.
And as he got in the back door at night with a key, I would suggest not all locks were changed and he's a sneaky little git!

user1498166085 · 12/07/2017 15:20

O think you would feel rather differently if the genders were reversed:

"I left the house and my ex changed the locks and I can't get into my home or access my children."

He absolutely has rights here, and "just snapping" is unacceptable. We cannot treat people like that, and luckily the law is there to stop abuse like this.

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