This is a self indulgent post when people are going through much worse. Just in the middle of wrapping it up with my boyfriend of a few years. No infidelity on either side, just day to day stresses and distance showing up all the cracks. It's a mutual thing maybe more instigated by me but that was more of a get-in-first self defence thing.
I think it is the right thing. I know it is. But it's just really sad. I've been through a bad break up with an abusive boyfriend and a divorce from a cheating husband (which MN really helped me through) so this is a relatively easy experience (not living together, no dc) but without the shock and the anger the other break ups had, the sadness is hitting.
It was so promising at first, I thought this was what I'd been missing out on, amazing chemistry etc. and I think I'm just mourning the loss of that and feeling so regretful we couldn't keep it going. We had moving in plans and a vague marriage/dc outline and now it's all gone.
Being older and jaded wiser, I know this isn't the end and I can cope; I have a good family, lovely young dc, a job and a place. Just miss/am going to miss having the extra support/intimacy a relationship brings and am exhausted at the thought of how rare and long it takes to build that with someone new.
I don't know what I'm asking; I'm just down and lonely so just hoping for positive stories of getting over the sadness, loneliness and regret. The knowledge that I could probably have sorted things out and strung it on knowing it's not right just to have someone...I know that's a shitty thing to do but when I'm alone at night and on weekends, that's going to eat at me. I just wish he'd done something unequivocally awful so I wouldn't dwell on it.
Sorry for length....self indulgence is such a downer.