Moving away from cheating husband

[Lesley1980]

My husband has been caught cheating on me again & ive decided to end it. I live 100 miles away from any family & I don't have any support or decent friends where we currently live so I would like to move near my parents & siblings. Would it be too much for my 4 & 2 year old to lose their dad & their home? My 4 year old is very close to her dad & cries to go home to him even if we stay at my parents a few nights. She is sensitive & anxious so I want to make it easy for her but equally I don't want to stay here isolated forever.

My OH also thinks it's unfair to him as the distance will reduce his contact as he won't be able to pop by. I also agree that perhaps every 2nd weekend & holidays aren't really enough & will affect the kids & his relationship.

I've always wanted to move back home but we've been stuck here because of his job. If I moved home I'd have support, company & more job opportunities for the type of work I did before children. I would struggle to pay for childcare though & might not be able to afford to work?

I want to do what's best for the kids & me. We can afford for me to stay in the family home & him get a flat near by. Equally we could afford for me to buy a small 3 bed near my parents & him keep the family home. Or sell the family home & take the cash?

Move , if you are happier it will be better for the kids. Don't stay for him as even if he is still hands on with the kids for a while as he is your ex and you have no say in his life he may meet someone in a year or two or three and contact arrangements may change it happens all the time. Don't make your life plans around an ex.

If it was me I would sit down with your ex and tell him you want to move back for all the good reasons you stated. I think they are sound ones. He can then start looking for a job there too and by the sounds of it this is very possible. Work with him on this but make it the assumed outcome.

On reading your recent post, you said family sent you back to him last time.... Are you sure they'll be supportive now?

I was on the fence about you moving, but he seems like he's no help and unreliable and he did initially say you could move back.

These are the consequences of infidelity... I say you should move back home and your children will be fine. 100 miles is like London to Birmingham... People commute that distance every day for work.

It's not the longest distance to be honest with you.

Do it while the children are younger and can easily make new friends.

OP, I think you should move. You sound very reasonable and would support your stbx in having a meaningfull relationship with DCS. Though from how you describe I wonder if he will be arsed when the children are not so easy to access, I would error if he is trying to use the children to come trolley you.

Changed name 3456, I feel for you in your situation, it must be heartbreaking to have you wife cheat and then manipulate contact with the most important things in your life. I don't think you can c
compare the two situations, OP has stated she wants to support the father child relationship. If you read the thread this is a man who wouldn't look, after his own baby so his wife could have a night out!

Sorry auto correct madness. Would error = wonder, Come trolley you = control you.