Taking razor to work

[SnowLeopard6]

My gf is taking her razor to work with her in her handbag. I don't understand why. Is this normal? Why would you do this?

I have a razor in my bag, but I cycle to work and therefore use the showers. I have all sorts of toiletries in my drawers as well, just in case.

I think you are being a bit paranoid, if she remembered to pack the razor, I'd say she remembered to go over her legs in the shower, it takes a couple of minutes. Also, it would be quite uncomfortable to shave your legs without a shower, but of course not impossible, she could use a basin, but that could get messy and if they are used by other members of staff, look quite odd!

You are obviously paranoid for a reason, though.

If shes hairy enough to warrant shaving her legs through the day, I can't even imagine how without a shower.

It's got to be either she forgot to do her armpits or it's in there for some random reason like picking up the wrong thing or put it in her bag at some point a while ago and just hasn't taken it out again.

It does look like there are more reasons for mistrust than your op suggests following your update. Why are you tolerating this behaviour when it's clearly upsetting you? You know you're perfectly entitled to end it without proof of cheating don't you?

We have our own toothbrushes at work, deodorant, and we're actually discussing razor for the times we forget arm pits!

Maybe she needs new blades, so took the razor to get the right match when she pops to the shops at lunch ?!

Even if she did forget to do her armpits - where is she gunna do them? I hope she isn't gunna dry shave her arm pits, she'll be itchy for weeks as a mortgage advisor, she's not exactly spending her days with her arms in the air so no ones gunna notice hairy pits anyway.

What a bizarre situation

I don't think you're being paranoid. I would definitely think it's odd if there's no towel in the bag or anything. I wouldn't necessarily think she's cheating though, unless she plans on dry shaving before meeting another guy. Either way he'd probably be put off after watching her scratch herself constantly

Ask her.

Lots of old friends and exes and people she works with get in touch and asks if she's single, like a weekly occurrence for a while. Regularly talking to many of them on fb messenger or whatsapp. She even told me she text an ex recently just to say hi. . . I asked her once why so many people ask her out, she said she had no idea and told me she was going to stop telling me about it. Which she has, so it either doesn't happen anymore or she just doesn't tell me. All just left me feeling very insecure

Yes - it would leave you feeling insecure which was probably the aim.

Think about it for a second - how many people do you know in real life (as in grounded in reality) get asked out and hit on all the time?
SIMPLE ANSWER: NO ONE
MORE SUBTLE ANSWER: ALMOST NO ONE UNLESS THEY ARE ACTIVELY ENCOURAGING IT

There are a number of reasons for this. Humans don't like rejection. It takes a lot to hit on someone and ask them out unless (a) you are a hound dog who doesn't care and are just looking for any hole in which to squirrel yourself away or (b) you have had super positive flirty come-on vibes.

Really super-attractive people (model types that very few people look like) don't even get hit on like that because others are intimidated.

SO - the bottom line is (a) it's untrue that she is getting hit on all the time and (b) she is telling you for a reason - to make herself appear more attractive to you and make you feel you have something to lose.

And it's worked very well.

I was once in a relationship like this and it really saps your self esteem. It's only when I independently discovered that one of the women he had gone on and on about fancying him and trying to get him on his own (he went to great lengths to keep us apart) actually wouldn't touch him with a barge pole and thought he was an idiot did the light dawn.

Be careful of someone who is deliberately pressing your insecurity buttons. Nothing good lies that way

: ok, thanks all, i'll ask her and let you know!

To be honest after your updates it sounds like the razor is the least of your issues!

Thank you Ebaygum - that was really interesting to read. You've absolutely read between the lines, and have almost read word for word my thoughts.

Glad you saw the light eventually.

In my case, I seem to think it's b) super positive flirty come-on vibes. And actively encouraging it.

If that's the way she is, that's fine that's her, I just need to decide whether she's the right person for me.

Or it could be a), just like it was with you

Thanks again

Desmondo2016 - Yes the Razor has brought (or bought?) it all out!

Dry shaving your legs or a Fanjo would be absolute HELL!!!

Sorry just the thought made my hair stand on end.

Snow

I don't really think the shaver is the problem in your relationship, she is either the type of Lady who likes a good flirt for the attention and then also feels the need to tell you , or is a massively messing with your head to make you insecure and jealous either way you need to decide if you can live like that ...I couldn't no matter what .

I keep a razor in my handbag because I have PCOS and get terribly embarrassed about it,in fact I have one in each of my bags
This really isn't your issue though, her behaviour is awful, don't be made a fool of

I can see why youre paranoid after your update, as she sounds a bit flirty, but I dont think the razor is anything to worry about

Superglue in my handbag - I don't even know why!

To those saying that no-one gets hit on as much as the OPs GF, I had a female friend a few years back (she was also a colleague) who got hit on everywhere we went.

I saw her get chatted up at the swimming pool, in bars, restaurants, on buses, at work (retail) - you name it. She wasn't unattractive but she was a long way off being a supermodel. She didn't dress to attract attention either, she just had something about her which attracted blokes.

OP, she sounds like a bit of a nightmare to live with. Any bloke coming back home to his partner and regularly boasting about how many women had given him the eye would get very short shrift on here.

At the very least everyone would call it a form of EA and they'd likely say that he's bound to be cheating.

So, she enjoys chatting online to people who seem to be interested in her sexually and she went for a 1-1 coffee with the electrician, despite the fact she's dating you?! Plus she was all over someone else when you were out together?! If I was dating someone like that I'd dump them. No way would I put up with that shit. The razor doesn't neccessarily mean she's cheating, but I think she is making sure she at least looks smooth when she's getting all this male attention. Or that she's prepared for if she ever decides to take it a bit further.

Thanks for all your replies.

We have discussed it in the past, but I was told, a) these friendships are nothing like that - I've known them for a long time and they are just very good friends, and b) there is nothing i can do to stop people asking me out. I didn't accuse her of anything. It was a 2 way conversation about how her actions make me feel.

On the face of it, nothing wrong has been done. And when I get answers like the ones above, I end up feeling stupid because actually she hasn't done anything wrong.

After the conversation, the stuff she tells me has reduced to zero. I guess because she's being kind and doesn't want to worry me.

But I can only imagine it still happens, I did see the opening line of a text one day when she was sat next to me and replying to a message from her sister. You know how it shows you the name of the sender and the first few words of all your recent messages. It was from a man she has spoke about at work and said "Good morning beautiful". That was a few months ago. I regret not asking her about it there and then. Felt like it would just cause an argument. Think I need to be a bit braver.

I don't think she'd physically be involved with anyone else, but the thought of her emotionally being involved with another man isn't a nice feeling. Is that a reasonable way to feel or not?

Agree with changedname really

What is EA?

sometimes if it's really sunny/ my make up makes any upper lip hair 100 times more noticeable then I notice it in my rear view mirror just as I'm leaving the car .. razor in my bag has solved this problem many a time

My DH wouldn't even second think it if he noticed it / he may have noticed it for all I know. So it's definitely your relationship / trust you need to be looking at

"It was from a man she has spoke about at work and said "Good morning beautiful""

There are very very few men in my life that that would be an appropriate text from... partner, male relative, possibly an old dear male friend, from anyone else I'd shut them down.

It's definitely not ok from some man from work, at best that's flirting, it could well be an emotional affair (because yes having that sort of relationship with someone else is a form of cheating) or an actual full blown physical affair.

Emotional affair

EA can mean emotional affair, but I actually meant emotional abuse in this context (although either works here!)

I think there's a level of flirting which means nothing and then there's taking the chronic piss. Op's GF is taking the piss. IMO it's more concerning, not less, that she's gone quiet on it.