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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

argument with boyfriend :(

26 replies

MumToBeXxx · 10/07/2017 21:16

so about a week ago I had an argument with my boyfriend, picked him up from his nans house to go carvery. I have a new car so I said to him "do you like my new car?" he said "yeah its alright" which I thought was quite rude he hardly didn't talk the way there the only thing he said was "how you doing for savings then?" I then said "yh I'm doing fine how about you?" he said "don't worry about me worry about yourself" so we got into the carvery sat down got our table and that, it all got a bit heated and he told me "if you leave now, I will never speak to you again" I told him "b*llocks" and left the carvery without. there has been a string of rows recently, he ruined my first scan by being rude throughout which left me in a bad mood. was I being unreasonable to leave him in a restaurant and walk out?

OP posts:
Justhadmyhaircut · 10/07/2017 21:20

You are being unreasonable if you put up with this attitude....

PopcornNRedwine · 10/07/2017 21:22

I think you both need to mature a bit and open the lines of communication rather than flying off the handle.

No one will be able to say for definite whether he is being rude and therefore no one can definitely say that you are flying off the handle.

If there are good points and things to work for, then sit down and try and work on them together.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 10/07/2017 21:24

All a bit something or nothing really. Clearly you're not in a healthy relationship if it all kicks off like this over... well, very little tbh. Nothing he said sounds categorically rude but tone is everything.

Cynara · 10/07/2017 21:24

Did you post about the scan and the argument you had then? I remember the thread, if you're the same poster. He sounded absolutely awful then and clearly things are getting no better. Is this really what you want? Get rid of him, he's a rude, miserable drain on your time and energy.

Crispbutty · 10/07/2017 21:24

Sounds like a great atmosphere to be bringing a baby into... not!

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 10/07/2017 21:25

I thought the same cynara| sounds very similar..

Whisky2014 · 10/07/2017 21:26

So are you supposed to be saving and you bought a new car? Or is it finance?

Bumdishcloths · 10/07/2017 21:27

Sounds familiar, previous thread with scan and argument? Dick then, still a dick now by the sounds of it, sorry OP Flowers

Ellisandra · 10/07/2017 21:28

Oh dear.
Was it a good relationship before you got pregnant?

MumToBeXxx · 10/07/2017 21:45

I had my 12 weeks scan on the 15th of june. I went to pick him up fro his house he was late, which made us almost miss our scan dispite me telling him that our scan was at 9:00 am the previous day! then we had our scan he don't look happy at all or didn't say a word, our sonographer guessed it was a girl (its a boy) I had to have a blood test after my scan and I rung my mum whilst waiting for my blood test to say everything was okay with scan and that out of guess the sonographer said he thinks its a girl. my boyfriend then said in earshot of my mum on the phone "he didn't say that it was a girl!" he moved seats away from me. we then went to the hospital canteen he said "fucking hell you'd think it was a gourmet £13.90!" then as we got back in the car I said "I you coming round tonight?" he said No without an explanation. I dropped him off to his house he slammed my car door and told me to fuck off.

OP posts:
LesisMiserable · 10/07/2017 21:48

You both sound about 13.

PopcornNRedwine · 10/07/2017 21:49

Sounds turbulent.

Crispbutty · 10/07/2017 21:49

Oh dear :(

How old are you both? This really doesn't sound great.

KinkyAfro · 10/07/2017 21:51

Poor kid

MumToBeXxx · 10/07/2017 21:52

he will be 21 in October and I will be 20 next week x

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 10/07/2017 21:52

He sounds awful. But you both sound very young and - I'll take a wild guess here - this wasn't a planned pregnancy, was it?

Does he want a child? He'll be under massive stress if he doesn't. He has no right to take that out on you, but it might be a factor in his behaviour.

I don't see anything wrong with his comment about the price of the food!

You clearly are not right for each other and he can't behave himself decently. Just split up with him. Never accept being told to "fuck off". (but then, I also don't think you should be shooting "bollocks" at him)

Step back. Split up. Calm down. Then maybe you both have a chance of calming down enough to be good co-parents.

Ellisandra · 10/07/2017 21:53

Ah, you are both very young then.

user1486669405 · 10/07/2017 21:55

What's a gourmet £13.90?

Crispbutty · 10/07/2017 21:56

I think you should be prepared to be a single parent. He sounds very immature and if he is behaving like a petulant brat now, that won't get any better once your baby is born.

Do you have good support from your family? You are going to need it.

MumToBeXxx · 10/07/2017 21:57

i wouldn't have fired "bollocks" at him if he didn't fire a threat "if you leave i'll never speak to you again" I'm not going to sit there and take that on the chin. i deserve someone to treat me better than that. that's not the way i was raised.

OP posts:
MrsChopper · 10/07/2017 21:59

You both sound very immature tbh.

TheNewSchmoo · 10/07/2017 22:00

If you're about to become a parent, you really, really need to grow up.

User14346741 · 10/07/2017 22:02

Then just dump him....

You just said "I deserve someone to treat me better than that. That's not the way I was raised" which is true. You do deserve someone to treat you better than that.

But he's already told you to fuck off and everyone told you to dump him and you haven't

So take your own advise and just dump him.

MumToBeXxx · 10/07/2017 22:03

i have very good family who are prepared to support me with or without him involved.

OP posts:
KatelovesJames · 10/07/2017 22:03

You guys need to have a serious chat going forward. Arguments happen in every relationship but there doesn't seem to have been anything to set it off particularly. Little bitching at each other is magnified greatly when you have a little one around (exh was like a petulant child for a few months after dd was born).

He can't be saying things like you will never speak again- you're having a child together but your response, while understandable, wasn't mature either.

Sit down, talk and try to get things sorted before baby comes.

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