Tomorrow's the day we "talk" how do I not back down from separating?

[hellokittehhhh]

Been with Dh 11 years, 2 dcs. It's always been a very up and down relationship, there was some EA in the past (him) and some disrespect, didn't help at all with children. For example, never once got up with them In the night, even to this day he has only got up with them a handful of times so I can have a lie in. We both work full time, although I work more hours if that makes sense, he sort of works from home, strict 8 hours no overtime no stress, whereas I'm physically out of the home for up to 60 hours a week in an extremely stressful job. Has called me lazy and rants about how awful I am to the children.

Anyway we keep having the same arguments, I'm definitely more the "let's seperate" instigator. We've talked before and he's always managed to convince me to give it one more try but I just can't do it anymore. I always regret the "one more chance" and kick myself for not being more assertive. This time however he seems to be more in agreement and once the kids are at school we are having the talk. How do I keep assertive and not give him "one more chance"?!

Life is short, time to choose the life that YOU want. You will be happier in the long run

Snap! Tomorrow evening or Wednesday for me.

I cannot face going on holiday with him next week. Enough is enough.

Seems very similar to your situation, but I've not actually said I want out.

My worry is that he won't be willing to leave.

I've briefed my parents to give me a reason to not back down.

Good luck. Xxx

@ruddy thank you, that is what im trying to hold on to. We get on great as "friends" but that's it. I fantasise about it just being me and the kids.

@moderate good luck to you, I've told my parents so many times over the years it's over but I always give him another chance, so I've not mentioned it to them this time.

It's going to be tough especially as we're going to have to live together for at least 9 months due to finances.

It doesn't sound like you have made the decision for sure. If you aren't certain then don't have the talk yet. Have another few days to think over what you want and be sure of your decision. There is no point at all having the conversation if you aren't sure what you want to come out of it.