Husband left

[Sammymickyvicky]

Me and my husband have been together 13 years we have 3 beautiful children until he left me on 27th march this year.

He told me he didn't love me or feel for me anymore. But I begged (like the sad cow I am) for him to at least try for the sake of the kids as I never New till that day he left he felt like this.

So he said yes and we have been trying for months. He won't move in. He stays one day a week and we have sex at least 3 times a week. I feel I'm now just being used.

Surly he should know by now if he wants this marriage to work??

I've stopped my anti depressants because I feel the effect our relationship too. But I'm now at a point of what do I do with everything.

Please can someone help me I need help on what to do.

If I were in your situation, I would make an ultimatum at this point. He either moves back and you work on the marriage or it's over. You're making it really easy for him to tread all over you. He can sleep over if he wants and lots of sex. What a lucky man! And where does this leave you? NOWHERE. It's time for this nonsense and his selfishness to end.

I'd back away from this man PDQ

Think about it, he doesn't live you but is eager to jump into bed with you three times a week and leave all the hard work to you whilst he lives the young free and single life.

He left then stay left, arrangements for everyone weekend for him to have his three beautiful children...

I do make it easy because I don't wanna lose him but it's just making him walk all over me.

I no I need to put an end to this. I'm going to today I need t focus on me and my children.

How do I do it tho, how do I just say no is no.

"how do I just say no is no" You just do. I know it is hard, and it hurts you inside, but you just say it that simply. You said it perfectly!! And you are right that this is just hurting you and allowing him to walk all over you. I am so sorry But the more simple and direct you are in saying "no" the less wiggle room he has. "No" is a complete sentence.

Do take care of yourself. Have a lovely dessert, tea... a play in the park with your kids, a chat with your best friend whenever you can, etc. A new haircut? Keep on keeping on; it does get better.

Stop allowing him to use you like this OP; it won't help you once bit, he's just using you for a shag and keeping you dangling cos it suits him, he's not showing any actual concern for your at all, about time you called it a day no?

You lost him already, this is just him using you now, nothing will change, in fact he will probably disappear soon when he gets bored with it.

Take the control back, you do have your own will, say no more and get yourself out with your girl friends, keep busy so you are not relying on him.

Yeah, let him get on with looking after his three beautiful children, you go out with your friends, you are making it all too easy for him I'm afraid and also showing him you have no self respect but you can change that, TODAY,

Oh please tell him you're done. He has left you. He is done. He is now just using you for sex because, well, why not?! He's not even pretending to try, is he?

Don't teach your sons that this is how he should treat women or your daughters that this is how they should let men treat them when they grow up. You deserve better. Your children deserve better.

I know it won't be easy, but you really, really need to slam the door in his face and tell him he doesn't deserve you, not vv.

You need to tell him you're through with this nonsense.

I know you are be hurting but clinging on to him will not make him come back. It won't.

And I can't imagine how confused your poor children must be with him constantly to-ing and fro-ing from your house. One minute he's there, then he's not. They need a routine. You all do so there are boundaries in place. That way he won't be able to keep taking the piss out of you.

I've messaged him telling him to come after work.

I've told him I don't want this anymore I want my life back and I want my children to be happy.

My son is struggling so much his lashing out with this all. So I no what I need to do. I just needed to hear it.

I must seem such a prat to most ppl letting him do all this to me

Of course you're not, OP you've been dealing with a horrible situation but the light bulb is on now, good luck, you can do this, you will actually feel better in the long run!

I'm hoping to.

Like I said I want my life back I wanna be happy again.

No, OP. You seem like someone who tried their best to make it work and hold their family together.

Sadly, that takes two people. Not one. Hold your head up and don't let him back in. He's messing you around

So I did it. I asked him to come round tonight and I put an end to it.

I told him no more sex, no more games it's over and I don't want him back.

I've set him days and times to see the kids and told him that's how things will be now.

well done, OP! I can almost feel your strength returning....

Why was he unhappy?

Well done op. Stick to it.

Well done, OP! This is the start of a new beginning for you. Don't let him spoil it.

I don't no why. His never really gave me an answer.

I actually feel like a weight has been lifted.

You should be proud of yourself, OP.

I wish you and your children a happy life moving forward.

Well done! Gives you some control back OP instead of dancing to his fiddle; you tried, he never, he decided to just use you until something better comes along, you have done the right thing.

Thank you. I feel so much better today about things.

My children seem better knowing there is a routine in place.