Feel so alone right now

[Lovelilies]

Just found out my ExP (2 kids together, broke up in April) has been seeing someone else, all the while trying to get back together with me. I was starting to believe he'd 'changed' but no, he's a lying bastards.
And just recently needed someone to look after my DC for a few hours while I worked, but not one of my friends would help me out.
I have my lovely DC and my old mum, but I'm feeling so crap right now I can't stop crying.
I know I'm feeling sorry for myself and I should get a grip, but I'm bloody tired and so hurt.
Sorry for the moan, just feel like there's no one in RL to give me a hug and say it'll all be ok

How's everyone doing?
I'm being bombarded with messages about how sorry he is, I can trust him, he only loves me and the DC, links to houses he wants to buy for us (!) and on and on.
It all sounds so genuine, I actually think he believes it himself, but it's messing my head up.

Just keep reminding yourself what he did. When the guilt kicks in for me about ending my relationship, I think about all the awful things my ex did. This usually does the trick. If he was so focused on getting you back he would not have considered seeing someone else.
Men will say ANYTHING to get their own way.
Try to imagine taking him back, buying one of those houses then finding out he's done it again!!!!

I have a messed up head too. I have been texting a friend about it and she said it's normal for us to have difficulty coping with massive change and wanting to see things as they were despite the evidence. She put it better.

An unrelated family crisis has taken over so I have to wait until the dust settles before trying to have a sensible conversation with DC's dad.

Hope you are ok

Dreading seeing him this morning when he collects the DC.
I guess it's like some kind of mourning, I've done sadness and anger now I'm in denial that it was ever that bad, when I know it really was.
Sorry to hear about your crisis. At least it will help take your mind of Wanker Ex !

Phew. Handover done, he brought gifts for me and DC and I dodged a kiss. He's also brought me a key to his house (if I want to check up on him at any time -ffs) and a breathalyser because I don't trust him not to get pissed.
This man is hard work!

Knackered but here. Well done for putting one foot in front of the other. I had the chance to confide a bit in a close relative, I'm glad I did but hasn't really solved anything in my head.