Stuck

[Cleo666]

Ok, will try to keep it as short as possible. Been with my partner for 3 years we have a son aged 2(he was a nice surprise ). Not long before he was due we moved in together. We got engaged last year but since having our son we have kind of struggled since as a couple. We aren't intimate anymore. I think that's manly due to me. I will sound harsh here but I can't bring myself to do it with him. It's sounds awful I know. I just don't feel connected to him anymore as a person. The stuff we used to enjoy talking about,going out etc bores me now. I feel like I've changed as a person. Don't get me wrong I don't want leave him. I just don't know how to connect with again to find things we have in common. Any ideas?

I feel connected to my partner when I have sex with him so it's not surprising you don't feel connected. There's been a couple of times throughout our relationship when sex has gone of the radar for a couple of months and distance creeped in between us.

It's so easy to let this happen, especially with a 2 year old. Do you know why you don't want to have sex with him? For me it was when I felt he had been disrespectful to me in an arguement or whatever. I explained this to him and told him that the last thing I wanted when I was being disrespected, was to then have sex with him. It's all back on track now and he gets it.

Also, very important to get time away together as a couple. Can you get a babysitter and go for a meal/few drinks etc? That always makes me feel closer to DP as well, although doesn't happen as often as I'd like.

Take time apart.

Assess whether what you really wanted was a baby, and how much you really were connected before you conceived.

Make sure you put baby first. In every way possible.

I just feel totally disconnected from him like he doesn't get me as I'm talking another language. Like now my son is 2 I want to start running again and try and get a bit of my old self back. So I explained I need to diet. So cutting out red meat and bread. 6 days in lost 4 pounds and eating good. Today he decides to cook meatballs. Maybe an overreaction but I must of looked horrified as his face he looked so sad. So I ate them and now feel like I've let myself down. I know he was trying to do the right thing. That's just one of many things. I go to all the things he likes to do etc. Just feel like he doesn't get me which is pushing me away

People grow apart, it happens all the time. Maybe it's ran it's course.