Am mid-40s, never married. Some past relationships including cohabitation but this is the first time I have ever felt this much potential with someone. I now think all of my previous relationships except one in my twenties were placeholder relationships. I was in them because they were good enough and better than being along.
I feel overwhelmed at times because I had given up on love and settled into a life of keeping my guard up. I don't know how to fully let my guard down other than in the bedroom. I don't know how to be vulnerable and open. Can I learn it? Can you teach me?
So as not to drip feed, we met at the beginning of the year through mutual friends. Both unattached and committed to our single lifestyles for the first couple months. Both had lots of dating partners though I've chucked all mine away. (I think he has but I'm scared to ask. If he hasn't, I don't want know yet and I don't want to end it yet. It took me time to do so and I don't expect us to be in the exact same timeline just yet IYSWIM.) He told me he loved me and wants to see where things would go.
I do have some big dreams about where things might go, but after only a few months I don't know how much I should reveal and how much I. need to keep to myself.
This post is terribly packed with navel-gazing. Maybe you could just give me your thoughts on how to pace myself in a new relationship with someone I feel love and respect for. How not to smother a man who's been very independent while also letting him know how much I want a future with him.