Relationship 911

[Morningstar26]

Oh jesus shit has really hit the fan! After a long and loving relationship of seven years I finally took the plunge and asked my partner about having a baby. and after explaining to him for the millionth time about my fertility issues having gone through an abortion which iam not proud of in my younger years (withthe same partner i might add) i have asked if its the right time to have a baby we are both financially very stable are in a loving relationship ect I didn't see an issue. However after a long discussion about having children and maybe in the future getting married ect i have been met with nothing but hostility and in his words "youve got more chance of winning the lottery than me giving you a child and marriage is only a pipe dream you need to get out of your head and stop day dreaming" so as you can imagine im in crisis do i end it and stand strong with what i have said in the past of i will not waste my time trying to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me or do i hang tough and wait out the purposal that'll maybe never come and grin and bare my already dire fertility issues and hope he see's the light? Xxx

Ok I see no crisis. I see him telling you exactly how he sees it which gives you the flashing out NOW signs.

If you hang tight and he never changes his mind you'll resent him forever. He's been honest (if a bit harsh) and you need to decide if you would like a life with him, no baby and not married or with someone else

You have one question to answer. Do you want marriage and children as part of your future? If yes, then this relationship is over. Your partner has very clearly told you how he feels. Believe him because he won't change.

How have you never had this discussion in 7 years? It's a pretty important subject.

Yes, he's been harsh, but he's also been honest. If you want children and marriage then you have to move on without him. He's not going to change and you'll resent him if you stay with him in the hope he will.

Is he saying that because he doesn't want a child or because of your fertility chances??

Why on earth would you want to "hang tough and wait out a proposal"?
You're worth more than waiting for a man to decide whether he wants to marry you. Which btw, he made himself perfectly clear that he wants neither marriage or children with you.
You're better than second class treatment. Get out while you can and start respecting yourself.

Surely this is a no brainer? He's made his feelings clear.. you shouldn't stay in the relationship.
Also I'm not sure anyone is "proud" of having an abortion but it isn't something you should be ashamed of.
What do you want morningstar
Are you happy with your dp?

It's a good excuse to run! As much as you love him, he won't give you what you want. Don't think of it as you having to beg him - what is he giving you? Not what you want, obviously.

If your goals aren't compatible there's no getting around it. Value what your goals are and be brave. It's time to move on xxx

And ps :) his tone sounds a bit shit - it's not respectful. And pps don't feel bad about your abortion, the other option would be dragging this man through parenthood and he doesn't seem keen at all. Sounds like the right decision not to bring a child into that

If you definitely want kids then leave as fast as you can especially if getting pregnant may be an issue. Don't waist your time. Sounds like you both want very different life.
honestly, leave.