Your best tips for moving on pleass

[Kickupthearse]

In short, I've spent a year of my life being dumped and then getting back together with someone very manipulative who I'd totally fallen for. We split up two months ago - he ended it over a trivial misunderstanding. He's continuing to message, sometimes reminiscing, sometimes sexual messages, sometimes abrupt and always asking if I'm dating. I've kept in touch in the hope it would bring us back together, stupid I know. I told him today how I felt after he told me I was the nicest person he'd ever met and was rebuffed.

I know that for my own sanity I need to get back my self respect. Ive finally realised I'm wasting my time with him and need to put my energy into building my self esteem back up and hopefully later on meet someone worthy of my love. I feel quite resolved now but know I'll start obsessing again and wanting to message him/look at Facebook where we have joint friends. Any tips for stopping that horrible anxious stomach feeling everytime I think about him and the fact he's moved on without me?

You have to cut all contact to stand any chance of getting him out of your head. Delete and block on everything it's possible to delete and block on. Don't listen to any music that reminds you of him. Destroy any photos you have of him. Don't go anywhere he's likely to be. If you're able to, decorate your bedroom, get new bedding, make it a space he wouldn't recognise. If not, buy new bedding; something he hasn't been in. If you feel tempted to message him, DO NOT DO IT! Write letters to him in a notebook if you have to. Write down everything that is awful about him, the traits you don't like and every time he's said or done anything shit to you, and if you feel yourself wavering, read it (obviously, never ever send any of the letters to him).

Snotnose gives you the best advice. No contact is the only way. Remember all the shit things he did and how shit he makes you feel. You can do this because deep down you know you deserve better. X

Its about self respect and dignity. If you tap into those two innate qualities - yes, you do have them OP! - you won't give in to his manipulations.
Practise being kick-ass assertive and learn to love the feisty new you.

Thanks, some great advice. I can keep my resolve until I think of him alone. He's constantly telling me how lonely he is and how I was the best thing to happen to him but then says I'm better out of his life and he's better alone. It pulls at my heart strings but then I've told him that I still care for him and he did everything he could to avoid giving an answer one way or the other. I need a kick up the bum.

I know that if he wanted me, he'd tell me and he'd chase after me again. I'm angry at myself for being so pathetic.

Still struggling, really need to increase my will power