Is this the end for us?

[mellongoose]

OH and I have been together 6 years and have one DD (3). I had some PND and have struggled to find 'me' since. Our sex life is shot. Although I try, I just don't feel sexy. He feels neglected.

He tells me that I need to lose my inhibitions - in life, not just sex. He's right but I don't know how. In arguments he descends to name calling and insults. This makes me feel worse. He thinks we live like brother and sister with no spark.

What do I do? I feel like shit. How can I drag us out of this hole??

It's tricky - it's a vicious circle, he feels neglected so won't give you the support and affection, so he continues to feel neglected because you're not feeling the love anymore.

Is it just your sex life that's problematic or are there other areas where you clash? Generally it starts long before you get to the bedroom.

I think we are quite different. We have the same sense of humour but we differ on lots of things. He thinks I don't fancy him. I do. I've told him I do. He doesn't believe me.

If I felt sexy, energetic and confident things might be different. Need to pull myself together. I don't know where to start.

He calls u names and insults? Way to get u juiced up!
Perhaps if he just took a bit of pressure off you, listened to you , sent u for a massage, took some pressures off u and stopped being a tear u might get ur horn back with him.

*twat not tear...

He sees it a different way. Because he works hard and does loads to make where we live lovely I should be grateful.

It's not like I sit around on a cushion eating chocolate. I work, have DD to look after and do my share of the house stuff.

I'm unhappy and he's making it worse not better.

Hopeful bump.
I feel like a boring whinger. Wish I could snap out of it.

Have you thought about counselling? It's often really hard to work these things out without help and if you leave it it could lead to you splitting up.
I think it's important to act now and not let things go too far. have a heart to heart with him and tell him how you feel.

Do you feel lacklustre about life in general? You could be depressed and there is no bigger killer of a persons zest for life.

Thank you.

He thinks counselling is a waste of money but I am persuing it anyway. I am happy to pay for it if it saves our relationship.

I do think I am depressed but not sure. I was diagnosed with PND when DD was nine months. I was never sure if it was that or just being exhausted though!

I feel like I go through life pleasing everyone but not having time for me (whinge, whinge!!). I am generally a positive person but don't feel that zest you talk about

I feel like I'm letting everyone down. Mostly him.

I know it sound silly but make a list of l of the things that are getting you down and show it to him x it helped me realise that all though there were a few things
My husband needed to change a lot were about me and I needed to accept or change my way of thinking about things x