Can feelings ever be wrong?

[Songbird86]

What do people think, can feelings be "wrong"? Can we feel something wrongly because of past hurt?

Just wondering what people's thoughts are!

Just keep reading runrabbit's post - perfect sense.

Gosh it's all so confusing when it's someone you love. You think they have your best interests at heart

He could very well have had your best interests at heart.

But that doesn't mean the two of you were compatible. He could have been brought up in a home where people were rude to each other by normal standards but that is normal to him. No point asking him to change because it's nearly impossible to change that sort of thing. He would be almost blind to it. The best he could do to change would be to plunge himself into a constant state of anxiety about whether he was offending you without realizing it. Why require that of anyone?

You can't force things to work between two people. When communication styles/ expectations of treatment don't line up, I know that the common advice is "work at it", but no that is generally something that is said to women to guilt them into not walking away when it's very obvious that compatibility is lacking.

There are literally billions of men on this planet. You should not change yourself or your expectations or what your feelings do/don't do for the sake of some man you were dating. It just isn't worth it, you would make both parties miserable.

My relationship experience has mostly shown me that love isn't actually the main requirement for a good relationship. Respect, trust and intimacy are all crucial. Love is important but on its own it isn't enough.

You can't argue a feeling.

If someone has made you feel great or shit, it's because that's how they've made you feel regardless of fact or actual intent

Perhaps it would help to discover more about abusive men song - so that you have more of an idea of what is right for you and what isn't.

Have a look at the freedom programme and womens aid and the book 'why does he do that?'.