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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Emotional affair with former AP?

27 replies

momentoe · 07/07/2017 22:31

Hi. I've been with my OH for 3 years. He is autistic (this is relevant to the story). We are in love and have a lot in common, he's very funny and smart. His family say that I'm his rock. Lots of ups and downs though due to the communication difficulties and his occasional odd behaviour. He used to live in another country for a number of years and would occasionally mention a female friend from that country who he kept in touch with. I was of the impression that they texted maybe once a month or less. He would occasionally show me photos she'd sent him or tell me she was going on holiday somewhere. OH was cheated on by several exes and is very paranoid about that kind of thing. I would never cheat on him and have always made a point in telling him where I'm going and who with, and sending photos. I don't even have any male friends.

Anyway, some months ago I discovered that OH and FF (female friend) had actually had an affair some years ago. I was starting to get really suspicious about things, I just started to notice that they were texting constantly. We'd be sitting in the pub together and he was texting away all afternoon. I asked who he was speaking to and he said oh it's just FF and would show me their chatty messages. He was always talking about how she was "in an unhappy marriage" and tbh I'd had some suspicions that something had happened before (I saw some photos of them looking 'close') but he always maintained they were friends only.

We went on holiday together last year and he was even texting her before the plane took off! I decided to confront him and eventually he admitted they'd had a "relationship" before but she wouldn't leave her husband. This had gone on for years, including long distance after he moved countries. He then visited her in her own country (he has family there) and the husband found out about it and the shit hit the fan. I'm not sure of the exact details but I think perhaps the husband asked her to choose and she chose him. But they stayed "friends". And then he met me a few months after this. I later found out that they were texting several times a week, not once a month like I'd thought.

I asked to text her and he said ok so I told her I knew about them and she freaked out a bit (she'd been chatting to him previously that day) and then eventually told me something that implied they'd still been involved not long before we got together. He went off in a strop (shutdown) and she was being a smartarse telling me things like "Oh yes, he's like that" when I mentioned him saying/doing something. I asked if her husband was aware that they texted and she laughed and said he doesn't pay attention. She was gleefully telling me about them saying I love you not long before we first met. I'd had enough of her by then - I stupidly thought she'd be reasonable but she showed her true colours. So I just stopped talking to her and went to see my bf who was practically catatonic due to my emotional outburst (I wasn't that bad but I think he just couldn't handle it).

When things calmed down between us I asked my bf for the full story and he told me about how they'd met online and she'd told him she was getting divorced. She kept this up, stringing him along and eventually they met. He moved across the country to be closer to her at one point but she still didn't get divorced. He even drunkenly phoned her husband one night and told him about the affair and her husband said "She likes playing games". He told me she lied so much that he couldn't trust her at all (and yet they stayed friends!). They have a shared interest and he said he can talk to her as he doesn't have any friends (he does have a few friends but not people he can confide in). I had a scroll through their texts when he was in the other room but I never saw any lovey dovey or sexual messages although he was complaining about me to her a bit, which was upsetting. She came across like a shoulder to lean on, not challenging anything he said about me although asking a few questions about me and, just listening to everything he said and joking a bit. So for all intents and purposes reading it seemed like a normal, if rather full-on, friendship - if you didn't know about the previous affair. The husband was rarely mentioned. She acts like he doesn't exist.

OH didn't speak to FF for a week after those texts she sent. Things settled down a bit with us but then I looked at Facebook one lunchtime and she'd sent me a PM!! I couldn't believe the audacity. She sent me this long, desperate sounding email, basically changing her story that she'd told me about their more recent involvement and said that although they'd been "committed" to each other once that they only are friends now and she'd taken a bit longer to get over it than he had. She regretted what she'd texted me, she said (more like regretted that he wasn't talking to her rather than that she was coming between us). She then demanded to know why he wasn't talking to her - had I told him not to? I couldn't believe it. Personally I think she's got psychological issues. I mean who the fuck does that? Emailing the partner of a man you once had an affair with to find out why he isn't talking to you? Coming between a couple, causing problems for them and wedging yourself in further?! I spoke to a member of OH's family about all this and she said that she thinks OH provides a distraction for FF in her life. And that FF is someone he can talk to and he doesn't have many friends. Neither do I but I wouldn't stay in contact with someone like that!! She said that FF is a "mental case" but has a hold over my OH :( I just didn't know what to believe. At the very least FF is a shitstirrer who enjoys my bf's attention.

This whole thing rumbled on for ages (they eventually started speaking again) and I ended up having to see the doctor to get medication for anxiety and we went to see a counsellor specialising in ASD. FF was the main subject for discussion and eventually we discussed OH not texting her anymore (he said he'd been doing it less often) and he said ok. I felt so much better. Until we got home and OH asked if I meant never again, then went in a huge shutdown with me, saying it was like him telling me I could never speak to my mother again!! That evening was horrible and I was ready to end things with him. The next morning though he said he'd thought it over and he would stop talking to her because he wanted to concentrate on our future. I was drained, both emotionally and from a lack of sleep so didn't say much. But I felt like a weight had lifted from my shoulders. But when I got home he told me he'd texted her and she'd told him she had been "Nothing but supportive of your new relationship" and was not happy. He wanted to know if he could say hi to her once a month! Cue more strops from OH when I said I didn't want them talking at all. A week later she posted an attention seeking photo of herself on Instagram - all prettied up but with a face like a smacked bum with a caption about what a horrible week she'd had.

I've seen things that FF wrote online when OH and I were first dating, implying that she thought of him as a soulmate and was trying her damnedest to keep him in her life, even as a friend. And if only she could turn back the clock and not have gotten married. And oh she cried so hard listening to this song and that song because it reminded her of him/them. It was like reading the angsty ramblings of a teenager, not a married woman of nearly 50.

I know that affairs are delusional "relationships" All the fun and none of the daily grind. OH can be very charming, make you feel amazing. I think that's what she fell in love with. She couldn't handle life with him on a daily basis but she's craving his attention. Anyway, part of me wishes I'd told her husband and family. I still could, that's my trump card. I told OH during one argument that we could discuss their "friendship" with her husband and see what he thought, and OH went in a mood.

Things have gone quiet on this front but I think of it often. He's still friends with her on some social media (apart from FB because the husband would see it). I don't know if they still talk but I suspect they do, even if just occasionally. My bf always said they were just friends now and that there were other reasons it wouldn't have worked with her. He said he'd chosen me, not her. Everything is so logical with him he just doesn't see why I'd be upset because they live far apart and he's with me now. I just think it's so wrong though, all that sneaking around and lying. Why would you stay in contact with someone who treated you so badly?! I asked him how would he feel if I did that to him with some guy and he said he wouldn't like it but trying to get him to see things from my POV has been a nightmare. And he doesn't even know when a woman is flirting with him so how can he tell what her intentions are? Who knows what she says to him to subtly get him on side or turn him against me? He used to talk very excitedly about marrying me one day but he hasn't done this for a while - it wouldn't surprise me if her talking about her marriage has put him off.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 07/07/2017 22:40

Well, that was very heavy going

Why the fuck are you engaging with this crap ?

You criticise this woman a lot but seem to have forgotten it takes two. In fact...there are three of you in this "relationship".

Crack on if that's ok with you

MegFlyAway · 07/07/2017 22:41

Why on earth are you with this man?!

pigyoinkoinks · 07/07/2017 22:48

Oh my goodness!

OP I don't think you will ever win with this man!
He loves this other woman enough to keep going back to talk to her even though it's jeopardising your relationship.

Do you really want to live your life playing second fiddle?

No woman should be the 3rd person in her own relationship. You need to find someone that cherishes time with you not his ex!. Flowers

Sn0tnose · 07/07/2017 22:51

This woman is not your problem. He is your problem and there is absolutely no point being cross with her. It's him who should be putting you first. It's him who should be being honest with you and it's him who should be being loyal to you. She doesn't sound particularly pleasant, but she owes you nothing and has no obligations towards you.

Are you getting cross with her because it's easier than addressing the fact that your partner is not fully committing to you? I'm not blaming you for it. I've done it myself. But he's the person you need to be directing your anger at.

SandyY2K · 07/07/2017 23:02

This sounds familiar. Have you posted about this before?

SandyY2K · 07/07/2017 23:06

I don't believe she'll totally be gone from your life and personally I'd have left way back. I think I said as much when you posted about it before.

coldcanary · 07/07/2017 23:09

You've ended up having to see your doctor and take medication due to the stress and worry this relationship is causing you - is he really and truly worth all this?
I'd run for the hills and never look back to be honest, you and your health come first.

Ginlovinglady · 08/07/2017 13:28

It's sadly obvious he's still in love with her and hasn't got over her. Sorry it's damn shitty for you

SaltySeaDog72 · 08/07/2017 13:33

I only got a few paragraphs in before I concluded you are a fool for engaging in this immature emotional drama.

Either leave and have a grown up mutual respectful relationship it crack on as you are... simples...

SaltySeaDog72 · 08/07/2017 13:34

or not 'it'

Naicehamshop · 08/07/2017 13:40

What Salty said.

This is way, way too much stress and aggro. Get rid, and find someone who is happy to put you first.

WillowWeeping · 08/07/2017 13:47

Your partner is in love with another woman.

If she ever gets tired of game playing he will leave you for her.

Why are you allowing yourself to be treated this way?

thestamp · 08/07/2017 17:04

It's really not meant to be this hard!

Please end this farcical relationship! You have ended up on medication in order to cope with him and his drama. Why not just move on? There are literally billions of other men on this planet..

Let the man be who he is and do what he wants... If who he is naturally doesn't fit with who you are/what you need, stop trying to cajole him into being what you need. Just leave it and find something that works without either of you suffering aggro over it.

Personally I don't care if my DP is talking to anyone about anything... And if a P told me to stop talking to someone, I'd laugh it off. But that's just us. It works for us, it's a non issue.

Find someone you're compatible with. I repeat, it's not meant to be this hard!

JustArandomUser · 08/07/2017 17:48

LTB.

keepingonrunning · 08/07/2017 17:55

OH was cheated on by several exes and is very paranoid about that kind of thing
Who gave you this information? OH? Ask yourself if you can rely on him telling you the truth, because it's possible it was he who did all the cheating and he's projecting his own behaviour to deceive you.

MudCity · 08/07/2017 18:10

This sounds utterly exhausting.

Please don't make excuses for this man. He continues to fail to understand how it feels for you despite you telling him over and over again and making allowances for his diagnosis.

Run for the hills as, if you stay with him, nothing will change. Do you really want this to be your life 10 or 20 years from now?

Cuckingfunt1981 · 08/07/2017 18:18

He is in love with her. Sorry op but the writings on the wall (or in the texts )

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 08/07/2017 19:41

Fuck me that is a long OP...
Whatever, your 'relationship' is utter bullshit, you my love are not the priority in your partners life-why are you happy to accept that?

SomeKnobend · 08/07/2017 19:56

You have an OH problem. Sorry.

Amethyst975 · 08/07/2017 21:16

OP - Could you clarify what role you feel his ASD plays in this situation? I'm not necessarily saying it doesn't - I'm just trying to understand to what extent his ASD specifically is perpetuating the problem.

Amethyst975 · 08/07/2017 21:20

Just want to add that I know you've mentioned a few things that are recognisably autistic behaviours - shutdowns, communication difficulties etc. - but how does it come into play with his continued relationship with this woman?

ScarletForYa · 08/07/2017 21:31

Why have you stayed with him?

deckoff · 09/07/2017 09:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

momentoe · 09/07/2017 17:38

Hi everyone. I guess I just needed to offload and this seemed the place. I've not been on Mumsnet long, haven't talked about this here before. Thanks for your comments.

I never responded to the woman's FB message to me (was in two minds about this and then decided I wouldn't give her the satisfaction in case she came out with more hurtful things) so we haven't spoken since that text conversation.

The weird thing is, back when we were first dating, he showed me a pic of texts he'd sent her, where he talked about me and said that he'd "Found his new wife" and she was like "oh that's nice" or something. It's bizarre.

We have both invested a lot of time and money into this relationship. We've dedicated a lot. It's difficult. If I'd known about this at the start it would not have happened. I was alone for a very long time before I met him. I told him during one argument about this that if we break up I'm done with men. It's too much effort to find someone new. Believe me I tried before. Online dating was extremely disheartening. 10 years on dating sites for a handful of dates that went nowhere. Yeah. There's next to zero chance of me meeting someone at work or through friends etc. So if this finishes us, I'll remain single. Get a dog or something. We've discussed this a lot and he finally realised that it was hurting me and felt awful. I have some thinking to do.

Yeah I guess people with Aspergers can be the same as NTs - some are this way, some aren't. It seems like poor boundaries can be a thing though, among the ones that do have relationships. I've spoken to other women online in relationships with AS men and they've dealt with similar. He seems to have no idea that he crossed a line with her and can't be friends now. He told me he'd be friends with her husband too but he doesn't like him for some reason. Um, I wonder why?!

OP posts:
rizlett · 09/07/2017 17:46

Stop wondering about the why of it or you'll find yourself in 10 years in the same place doing the same things and still wondering why.

There is no why. He is just like that.

He isnt going to change.

Value yourself more and let go of all this immature stuff. Read the book - 'co-dependent no more.'

You don't have to save anyone to be good enough. You are good enough just as you are. You are worth more than all this pointless crap that's going nowhere. Don't invest any more of your time and energy.

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