Should I threaten legal action?

[PleaseBeNiceFeelStupidAlready]

Please be nice because I already feel really stupid about this situation and will most definitely never be doing it again, hence the name change. I really need a general consensus on this but can't get one IRL.

Basically I lent a (now former) friend some money when they were supposedly in desperate need. Despite many promises to pay me back, and even contacting me to tell me she'll pay me on such and such a date, she has not done so despite flashing the cash elsewhere. We are now a year down the line.

I've read that you can send a letter before action, threatening court action unless the debt is paid by a certain date. Obviously this costs nothing other than the cost of postage to send and I read works 80% of the time. I wondered how many of you would do this and how many of you would forget it and move on? Just for reference the amount of money would take me approx 2 weeks to earn.

I can forget the money if I really have to but I think it's the principle of being lied to over and over and having my trust broken by someone I once called a close friend that seems to be eating away at me...and perhaps the fact I feel really stupid for lending someone a decent amount of money.

I feel like she thinks I can't do anything to make her pay me back, so she feels she has all the power. I think the threat of court action would scare her sufficiently but stupidly I'd feel a bit petty doing it. Although I'd really like to wipe the smile off her face.

Sorry for the waffling. Any opinions would be gratefully received!

Eh, does it really matter if she thinks you're petty - it's 2 weeks worth of money - and obviously the friendship is fucked already. Why should she get away without a scare at least?

get a Lawyer x

I'd send the letter, definitely.

I'd send a letter by 'signed for'. State she has 28 days in which to pay in full or you will take her to small claims court.

You've been more than patient.

I would.
But I also suspect that she is thinking that as there is no contract betwen you re you lending money to her and her paying you back, you won't be able to do anything at all.
So depending of how far you are actually ready to go (eg are you actually ready to go to courts for that?), I might go to see a sollicitor first.

Did you have anything in writing about paying you back....even by email, text etc?
If not, I am very sorry to say it doesn't look good :(

Thanks so much for your replies everyone. Really helpful. I do have proof that she owes me the money as I have the messages where she promises to pay me back on several occasions. I was thinking of sending the letter by signed for, seems more official that way

Send a letter, with proof of posting (signed on arrival).

Then go through the small,claims court, which is all,done online, and is relatively easy.

www.moneyclaim.gov.uk/web/mcol/welcome

You may have some initial expenditure, but that will get that refunded.

This is all making me feel so much better. Everything else I've read online has just made me feel even more stupid than I already do for lending her the money in the first place. I felt completely powerless.

Yes send the letter, do one normal post, one signed for.

Go to the online small claims site and print off the forms and fill them in then do a copy and include with the letters. State in your letter if the debt isn't repaid within a certain period (usually 14 days) you'll file the papers with the court.

This is far more effective than just sending a threatening letter 😉

I've been through this.

You can send a 'letter before action', if you look on the governent website link someone posted above it should tell you how to do it
Or look on the CAB website.
The 'letter before action', just states simply, the facts of the situation
Money owed, date lent etc and gives 28/30 days to pay money back or action will be taken without further notice and that court costs may apply. (Look for a template online)
Send the letter signed for and keep proof of postage.
If they don't pay you can start a money claim online.

Daft question but does she have the money to pay you back?

OP says she's been flashing he cash.

I'd do it - letter before action, and small claims. If someone stole half the amount out of your bag in a bar, you would feel petty for calling that a crime.

I wish I'd written this thread so much sooner. Despite my best efforts not to let it affect me it's been driving me mad. I'm going on holiday soon and kept thinking how much that money would help.

Joysmum love your 'loaded gun' letter with the ready filled forms. That's just what she needs.

I know she has the money to pay me back. She's in full time work again now, well paid, flashing her cash around.

It's worked for me in the past.

Sorry, posted too soon...

Including the forms (free until you file them with the court) makes it less vague and like a chances as the letter alone would be.

I had a close friend 14 years ago who I offered £1500 to as her mother had just died, her computer had broken and she had no cash. She was going to pay me back when the money from her mother's will came through. 14 years later ... she has not spoken to me for 10 years. I occasionally find an email address that I think she may use to ask for the cash back - nothing. Nada. We have mutual friends who do not understand the situation. I actually need really need the money now, but hold out no hope. We had been friends for maybe 10 years before this. Speaking every day, socialising etc. If your friend does not want to pay, then she won't. It is really that simple.

Never lend what you can't afford to lose.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I can afford to lose the money but it's the principle of the thing that is affecting me. It's something I've learnt a huge amount from and will never do again (and have never done before) but I don't see why I should lie down and allow someone to get away with what is in effect stealing.

If the small claims court is as easy as it looks I will go down that route if the letter doesn't have the desired effect. I've downloaded the forms already this morning.

She owes you money... get it back... nothing else mattersx

I could be wrong, but are you licenced to lend money? If not, I don't think you have any way of getting it back.

JustArandomUser.... I imagine you are thinking of a licence under the Consumer Credit Acts. As this was a private arrangement between individuals it doesn't apply here.

take it to the Small Claims

www.gov.uk/make-court-claim-for-money

x