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Original poster

ExH addressing DD directly on my phone - is this normal?

15 replies

Twillow · 07/07/2017 21:16

ExH sends messages to DD on my phone as if its hers - ie "Hi X call me" - rather than, as I would, "Can you ask X to call me please". (Not old enough for own phone).
Today a new level - asked him a question via email thinking that at least is private between us and he got her to reply (about a school meeting so shouldn't have involved her imo).
Is this normal? I have asked him not to do it several times.

OP posts:
NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 07/07/2017 21:33

He sounds like he's trying too hard and doesn't know age appropriate talk.

ponyprincess · 07/07/2017 21:39

No it's not.normal and is so frustrating!!! But as it's on your phone you can still monitor what she sees? How old is she?

Original poster
Twillow · 07/07/2017 21:44

ponyprincess that's a good point. She'll go to high school next year so will have her own phone then. Frustrating is right though. I've even tried replying this is not x's phone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Twillow · 07/07/2017 21:46

I think he does it to wind me up "NotAnotherNoughtiesTune*. I am at a loss how to change it though.

OP posts:
category12 · 07/07/2017 21:51

Deep breaths and a mantra of "I know that you're trying to annoy me, so I won't give you the satisfaction".

Give dd her own phone a bit early?

GlitterSparkles17 · 07/07/2017 21:55

Sounds as though he will do all communicating with her once she gets her new phone and maybe not consult you on anything.... I'm thinking this would probably be worse than what he's doing now, however annoying it might be.

BeepBeepMOVE · 07/07/2017 21:59

I would just reply, " Hi, Would you like me to ask DD to call you?" And ignore until he addresses you. He's being rude.

cestlavielife · 07/07/2017 22:00

Get her own phone now

category12 · 07/07/2017 22:00

What Beepbeep says on repeat. Broken record time.

Original poster
Twillow · 07/07/2017 22:01

He doesn't consult me on anything now, unless it's in his own interests. Yes, I suppose it will be worse when she has her own phone...

OP posts:
GlitterSparkles17 · 07/07/2017 22:05

Do you think he would try mediation to get a proper parental plan and routine in place? That way he won't be able to just ignore you and sort everything out through a child?

Original poster
Twillow · 07/07/2017 22:14

I agree, I think it's utter rudeness. I don't let him see its irritating! I will keep to that reply.

OP posts:
Original poster
Twillow · 07/07/2017 22:17

Mediation is something I've started to think about. Has anyone got experiemce of it working? We were going to have it when we first split up but the counsellor said, after meeting us separately, that he didn't think it would be in my best interests to have joint mediation. The children have expressed a wish that we could communicate better though (we never speak directly, only through text/email).

OP posts:
LesisMiserable · 10/07/2017 14:13

Yes it is entirely normal - and no less annoying for it.

notarehearsal · 10/07/2017 19:03

Get her a £10 phone from Tesco or similar. No internet. Have her Dad's number in contacts and keep it at home if you'd rather not give her one yet. Give him the number and sorted! There's no drama and he can have conversations directly with DD

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