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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to fuck your life up

4 replies

DooWhaaDiddy · 06/07/2017 22:43

Well that's exactly what I've done. H and I split up about two months ago, I'm now three months pregnant and we have a DS 4. H already has a criminal record for common assault and battery against me and there is an ongoing case now for repeat offence. Because of this SS are involved. Now my feelings for H don't just switch off and although I know we can't be together, I still find this all very upsetting what with all the hormones as well I've been upset in the evenings. My neighbours have heard me crying or having heated conversations with H on the phone and have now also contacted SS and put in an "Anonymous complaint" saying they are worried for my DS. My DS is my world, I tried to shield him from as much as I possibly can and try to keep things civil with H when he comes to collect him although that's not been very often but I am not a robot and I can't shield DS from everything that goes on in the world. I have no idea how I'm going to look after DS and keep my job and afford everything financially, pay the mortgage child care etc. Ps SS were about to close the case until the neighbour (Who doesn't like me by the way it has always made that clear) got involved. I've contacted BPAS don't think I can go through with it, I always wanted another child but not like this. I don't know, I feel so low and like everything is impossible. I'm off sick now and have no clue as to my best move. I miss H but he's being so nasty, if I get upset on the phone he says he's going to call the police knowing full well this will go against me with the social services, it's a form of control. He's also said that he'll have to get a more permanent place to stay so he can have his other children visit and he's told me this means that me my son and the new baby will be out on the street as he can't pay the mortgage. What with this pregnancy, my hormones, H being a controlling nasty arsehole social services and a stressful job I'm just not coping Sad

OP posts:
DooWhaaDiddy · 06/07/2017 22:46

One productive thing I've done though is apply for working tax credit's and child credits and single persons discount for the council tax. If I can make it to 29 weeks pregnant at work I think I should still be eligible for maternity pay but I really don't see how I can make it that far as I won't be able to pick up my son and I have no one else to help me out with him now.

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 06/07/2017 22:49

Stop contacting your ex - that will help you immensely.

Tell your SW you need financial advice and explain your circs - she will advise

Be v careful - your ex can easily show SW you have been contacting him by phone text records

You should not be shouting and screaming in front of your son

You will make him afraid, worried and anxious

I am truly sorry that you have been caught up in DV but access your local women's aid etc to suppo M you and your SW

Flowers
StaplesCorner · 06/07/2017 22:54

You need some support you can't deal with all this alone although you have made an amazing start. Contact Women's Aid tomorrow; use all the charities and advisory services etc that you can.

bluebell34567 · 06/07/2017 22:54

I think contacting women´s aid is good idea.
they can help with all the problems you have.

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