How much did it cost you to go to court over contact?

[Queenofthestress]

Me & exdp split a month ago, we have one 6 month DD together, we split due to drug use, alcoholism and DV all ending in a DV report but no arrest, hes not on the BC but looking at going to court to go on it
HV has safe guarding concerns and so do I, both the HV and solicitor have said if he gets parental responsibility then to stop contact until he takes me to court as he could walk off with her and legally I have no position to get him to return her
I'm looking to save for a solicitor for the inevitiablity of court for access as im on income support & carers allowance, so I'm just wondering, how much did it cost everyone else?

How long is a piece of string?

Some people only go court the once.
Some people go in court multiple times.

I've heard stories how it costed as little as £300.
Others as much as £20,000 +

I mean I'm happy with him having access, I just want to supervised with drug testing as I don't believe a word of what his mum says at contact, I don't even know if he'll go for parental responsibility once he finds out I need to stop contact until he goes for access if he does, hes only got a thousand whereas I might qualify for legal aid

My understanding is that if its DV and you have no equity in a house (or substantial savings?) then you should qualify for Legal Aid. I could be wrong. I'm paying between £2000-3000 per court hearing - 3 so far and counting. Via legal loan against our joint property. Hideous waste of £ but he's abusive and punishing me for leaving

I'm on carers allowance and income support so I'm hoping that CAB can point me in the direction of someone who knows if I can get legal aid, he wasn't arrested,just asked to leave and a DVR completed

It cost me somewhere close to 10k - that was for a PSO, two hearings (one with a barrister), and then a further court date for the verdict.

And that was with me preparing all the court documentation etc to try and cut the costs.

A colossal waste of money, which I'm still paying off now.

@Queenofthestress recently my mom had a letter saying her legal aid was being stopped because it wasn't going to be there anymore ... look it up thou cus it may just be in moms situation .. I do hope things work out for you though Hun x

My only other option because of the situation (Everything in OP, hes aspergers with a proven inability to control his anger, easily influenced, alongside attempted attacking my ex with a hammer after he lured him to my house) would be to self-refer to social services telling them that I have safe guarding concerns about him

The attempted attack was made with my DS in the house whilst I was at a friend's house

Humpty Dumpty hearings over a decade. Cost £212 for initial contact hearing application. (My DH applying for contact order for his dcs from a very difficult ex wife.

We self represented throughout. (Actually not me at all - quite rightly only the children's parents allowed in court - so I was simply the form filler))

We didn't need a lawyer as we didn't have anything remotely complicated to say. The family court is now really really used to people self representing. Just go to court and tell them your reasons for believing the contact is not in your dcs best interest.
The judge will require your ex to do certain things.. pretty standard will be supervised contact for a three month period with a drug and liver function test . If he cleans up he will get graduated contact but with a HV reporting their concerns they will be very cautious.
We have also self reprinted for enforcement of contact (another £215 for every application.
We have also defended against her application to remove the children to Hongkong where her new DH was working. She spent £30k over 4 hearings with a Barrister. We spent nothing but the cost of time of work and simply told the judge why this planned move was against the children's best interests.
We also had to write a very long 'rebuttal ' statement to her statement of reason why she should leave with the kids. Time consuming but not hard. Just took her points and explained why we disagreed. We won.

There is a cost for mediation which is required prior to pretty much most hearings these days - except dv cases.
Those £212/215 court fees will not be payable for anyone on a low income or benefits (actually the income allowed can be quite high so always apply for an exemption-ask court for the form)

Only the 'applicant' pays for the court fee so this won't be you OP.

Do your prep OP. Get your facts straight. Get your HV support. Don't be negative-look for a way for your dc to have a safe relationship with her father. Focus on the child and don't let any feelings about you and him creep in. The court genuinely aren't interested in two adults fighting with each other, there only interest is your child's welfare and that is 'to have a relationship with BOTH parents if safe to do so. Just assure the court that your focus is you want the same but at the moment it simply isn't safe. When he deals with that, you won't object.

He's already tried mediation, I refused thinking that I'd have to be in the same room as him,
I don't want her to not have contact, I just want him to prove that he's capable of looking after her before he's unsupervised and that she lives with me as the resident parent, at the minute contact is supervised which I know will prove to the court I'm not against it, but in regards to his lack of emotional control I really can't have him walking off with her/being unsupervised

You can get a template letter of the government website for your gp or hv to fill in which will allow you to get legal aid due to dv, as long as your income is below the threshold.

Well, his mum has now informed the third party mediator that they want to come to some kind of agreement as he'll have to pay to go to court

I'm going to draft up a consent agreement and see if he'll agree to those terms & social services are happy with it, if he doesn't then I'll be telling him to take me to court, I have no problem representing myself as Im not asking for anything difficult

It cost me £215 to apply for the order and £60 to get mediation signed off as unsuitable. Did it all myself.

My ex took me to court 40 times. There were a lot of reasons why he didn't get joint residency (heroin, criminal record etc)

It cost me £41,000 over 6 years. He gave up work as soon as I left him (so had never had to pay child maintenance) so got legal aid...

No. Stop. No agreements. You may put yourself and your child in danger. And don't be pressurised by any relative. Speak to women's Aid about where you go from here. They can help you find a suitable solicitor and where appropriate get legal aid. You appear to have a case for it. He sounds dangerous and supervised contact may be too much of a risk. Get proper advice, don't set a precedent for contact by allowing it. Let him do the running on any application to court. Mediation is not appropriate where there is DV. Your obligation is first and foremost to protect your child from potential harm.

His mum has form for trying to pressurize me into things especially after I told her that she was making me feel worse , I have ptsd and social anxiety and this whole thing feels like it's making it worse, I'm off to the GP tomorrow because I can't stop the flashbacks and just can't deal with it right now

I was told that because there was no conviction or arrest it was classed as a domestic dispute not DV @Muffintop101

You will struggle to get legal aid I imagine as there needs to be an arrest/conviction with regards to the dv to enable it. My solicitor looked into it, exh is under investigation but no charge means no help towards legal costs.

I've spent thousands, I don't even know precisely how much but my solicitor is £300 p/h and my barrister fees are at least £1200 per court appearance. We don't have a straightforward case so it's dragging on 😕

That's what I thought, although I have been given some forms for the gp & hv to sign that might help me get it if it comes to taking me to court
He'd have to pay himself as well so I really can't see it happening, if it does I know cafcass wouldn't be happy with him ever having unsupervised contact (solicitors opinion) because of all the reasons I've posted

Sometimes a GP can help if they can confirm they've seen you and believe you are a dv victim but we didn't consider that as I'd changed areas.

I'm back on anti-depressants for the anxiety and referred off for therapy since the police can't provide any, I may have cried my eyes out in the gps office begging to go back on the tablets so I'm hoping that if it comes down to it they'll help

I really hope so.

Don't worry about being back on medication. Same here.

One thing is to make sure you're happy with your legal team- my initial solicitor, despite being an apparent dv specialist, was crap. My new one is amazing and I would recommend him to everyone! Same with my barrister. It's been a much easier process, emotionally, since changing solicitors.

I've spent some 265,000GBP over the past 4 years and I haven't seen my son for 18mths... sort things out between yourselves, is my advice

He attempted to attack your (different?) ex with a hammer in your home? Could have killed him. Were the police called? Yep he sounds dangerous.

If he goes on the birth certificate then social services have demanded that I stop contact so he has to take me to court because hes a safeguarding risk so sorting it out between us isn't really an option

give mediation a try, it sounds like you need reassurance on legitimate safeguarding concerns and that's the kind of thing you could sort out in mediation, perhaps a view to an initial period of supervised contact. Court is a lottery....