A month post breakup, so lonely it hurts physically!

[user1498060624]

Today I feel so lonely it hurts my entire body. Holy cow, no one ever told me breaking up with someone will hurt so deeply and in every level. If you ever consider breaking up/divorcing with your partner please make sure you have a GREAT network support. Everyone will tell you 'you'll get over it' and 'it will be fine' and everyone will be by your side for a text and a coffee but after that text and coffee people will go on with their lives and all you will end up is being alone with yourself and a cat.

So lesson learned my friends.
Never break up unless your life is stable, you have a job, friends that will help you go through this and are not there with you only for the good times, a house to live and family nearby. If none of these things are in line then you are doomed and today I am the living example of this, just a month after my break up.And it hurts more than anything else! Being lonely is the one of the worst things I have experienced in life...

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low, but you are not doomed it is just very early days for you.

I don't have a support network, no family nearby but I am still better off out of my marriage.

You will find strength you didn't know you had.

Sending you a huge hug OP, loneliness is one of the worst things to go through.

so sorry to hear this. Although I am still with DH, I have to be honest, I genuinely like being by myself, he is away quite often and I dont have any of the things you mention, although I do work and son lives 10 miles away . However I am confident enough to go and join stuff and meet up groups can be good too. I really think some people "need" to have people around them 24/7 and some just do not. To be honest I dont see it as lonely , more as having space and choices, but I do think this is a "mindset" thing and clearly you are a person who thrives on people being around, so "hugs"

I'm sorry to hear it's been so much more difficult without a network. I'm still dealing with the fall out from mine just over a month ago, and I've found the meetup app so helpful to meet people. I don't tell them about the breakup and it helps me focus on something else for a few hours. I've only met the same people a few times so the constant introductions can get a bit weary, however I'm either practicing another language or knitting or singing, no time to think about being lonely :)

You need to reach out to people. Trust me, i know what its like to be where you are. Support will come from places you least expect it, if you are open to it. Very best of luck... you WILL survive and thrive, tho it may not feel like it xx

Thanks @yetmorecrap for your response. I am actually quite independent and I have been living in this country (miles away from my family) for the past 8 years. I am an extrovert and very friendly, however the situation I am going through at the moment is something completely different to what you have described.

It's a great thing to know that there is someone there for you, someone who cares, someone you can rely on, someone who will get back home from work and you will cook together. In my case I dont have this anymore. And my network support is not nearly as strong as I thought it would be because everyone has their own lives so its not that they can listen to you and your problems or go for a coffee with you everyday! I dont even have my own place since I am just renting a room in a family house and as you can understand I dont feel comfortable being a walking zombie being seen everyday by my flatmate, it brings her sadness I think :(

So yes, being apart and having your own time is a great thing but being lonely and not having someone to care about you is the worst thing. Loneliness is a living hell.