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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to not morph into your partner?

2 replies

inhaleexhale · 04/07/2017 22:34

Met DP around 6 years ago; he was very laid back as opposed to fiery me, I was a bit more active than him, he was over weight, but it never really bothered me.

I'd always kept my weight in check etc and I ate healthily most of the time until around 3 years ago and I started picking up on some of DPs habits, meaning my weight increased.

Looking back, I've often been easily influenced by ex boyfriends, I've grown to like the same music as them, or hit the gym like them, or in this case, developed a fondness for carbs, meals out and a lack of exercise.

I've been working with a health coach who has been trying to get me on track, but it's difficult as I'm realising that it's not just my own behaviours that need to alter for DP and I to live harmoniously. There's that saying, "we are who we walk with" and it's very true in my case. I just want to be fitter and healthier, I'm not enjoying my reflection at the moment.

How do I find the strength and seld control to lead a healthier more active way of life, with a DP who just isn't that fussed? If I tell him I'm ditching the sweet stuff, I can guarantee he'll come home with a big bar of chocolate or a dessert and I buckle. I just want in on the fun!

OP posts:
DontstepontheMomeRaths · 05/07/2017 15:36

He shouldn't bring home chocolate for you if you're dieting. That's almost like he doesn't want you to get fit and healthy when he won't.

The book co dependant no more has helped me a lot as I used to morph to fit my exs.

scottishdiem · 05/07/2017 16:06

"He shouldn't bring home chocolate for you if you're dieting."

I'd amend that to chocolate that you know about. If you are seeking to control what he eats because you lack any self control then that is not a solid basis for claiming to be a separate person.

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