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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I selfish?

13 replies

babycow38 · 04/07/2017 01:49

My OH had an affair three years ago, we split and i had a complete breakdown, was in hospital for three months, we got back together because mostly he felt guilty, kids were suffering, I wanted him back because I was clinging on to what I knew , fast forward now and I have built myself up, I have a job I love, my kids are ready to flee the nest and I have got my shit together so much.Suddenly he needs me more now, hates the fact I love my job, whining I work too many hours, wants me to be more "feminine" which when I asked what does that mean? ( I'm lovely, pretty, take care of myself) he said I am too cocky, opinionated, and don't seem to care about his needs. My response is I do love you but it's my time now, why can't he be happy for me instead of being in competition, he says I'm selfish and don't meet his needs, I say I've just begun to be happy/ me and I think he should be happy for me Am I being selfish?

OP posts:
babycow38 · 04/07/2017 01:51

X

OP posts:
Guiltypleasures001 · 04/07/2017 02:01

No lovely your not, but it sounds like he is, he's acting like your having the affair now and he's feeling put out.

Looks like it's run its course relationship wise maybe, he wants you around to service his needs. Maybe you won't want to wipe his bum in his old age. You have nothing to hold you back now, but it seems he may want to 💐

BubblingUp · 04/07/2017 02:28

By "feminine" he may mean submissive, dependent and deferential to him, not feminine in appearance. You are not being selfish. He's being a misogynistic ass.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/07/2017 03:25

He has lost control of you. THAT'S what he hates. You're no dependent on his presence and approval to find happiness. You have triumphed after years of doubt and turmoil, and you should be so proud of everything you have accomplished. Now do yourself the biggest favor of your life and dump his useless ass. He's selfish, weak, and pathetic. YOU DON'T NEED HIM.

heyday · 04/07/2017 04:55

It sounds like you are blossoming .....do you really need him in your life? Sounds like he is, and will continue, to drag you down. He is finding so many 'faults' with you that he may well throw these back at you if he has another affair so he can blame you.
Think very carefully about continuing this relationship I think you'd be a whole lot better off without him.

Saiman · 04/07/2017 05:58

Ok. This happenes to me. Minus dh having an affair (as far as i know he hasnt).

I got a new job, new friends, started having the odd night out etc. I became happy.

I had spent the 4 years, previous, working with dh at our business. Everything revolved around the business and dh. I went back to work to have something for me.

It did not go down well with dh. He was going through my pockets, phone, facebook. There was drama all the time. If he text and i didnt call back immeadiately, he thought i was ignoring him. He hated that i became stronger and wouldn't take his shit and was independent. I got told 'you have changed' and 'your arent the same person'.

In the end i told him that actually i am the same person. I am just more vocal about what i want and need. Dh began clinging on, smothering. Eventually i gave him an ultimatum. He got help or he left.

He had a lot of counselling and we had some joint and it really helped. It was a long road and (imo) only worked because dh realised and accepted he was being a dick, he was being controlling and he was being EA. He accepted it was him and not my fault at all.

Dhs insecurity comes from him not feeling like he is attractive enough for me. I think he is gorgeous. But i dont like how i look so get it doesnt matter what others think.

A year down the line after counselling finished he still has an appointment every 3 months and our marriage is better than ever. He has really made an effort and is incredibly supportive of me.

I am not saying this to tell you to stay in your marriage, that it will definitely get better etc. I am telling you it because, like me, its not you. Its him. Your dhs insecurities sound like they come from his affair. He did it. Now your life doesnt revolve around him, he thinks you might do the same. He doesnt want to see you stronger, have an opinion. Because your opinion might be that you dont want/need him.

My dh now says its so much better knowing i am in the marriage because i want to be. Not because i feel i have to be. But at one point, that scared him.

Your dh is being selfish. He is worries you will cheat, leave him. He wants to be in complete control and your world to revolve around him. Eventually his behaviour will end your marriage.

noego · 04/07/2017 14:58

Well done you Flowers I know exactly what you mean :)

wherearemymarbles · 04/07/2017 15:36

He doesnt like the fact you dont 'need' him anymore, you are your own person who has her own views and a willingness to express them.

He's lost control of you and he is threatened! You may want to leave and find your equal!

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 04/07/2017 16:45

You are not being selfish. He is being selfish. He wants you to sacrifice your happiness and your needs to meet his needs. He has told you this directly. That's pretty much a definition of selfishness.

How on earth could you even begin to imagine you are being selfish?

babycow38 · 10/07/2017 23:53

Thanks everyone, I know my own mind and it is amazing everyone who replied feels the same, I am now going to put me first, continue with the job I love, and honestly was hard faught by me, but I am now looking into a one bedroom apartment just for me, with my plants, pictures, space for my kids to overnight, the men who hate you being independent are the ones you have to stay away from x

OP posts:
user1486956786 · 11/07/2017 00:00

Good luck to you. I don't know you and only your brief post but genuinely pleased you have come out so much happier stronger and independent. You have got some lost time to catch up on 🎉

babycow38 · 11/07/2017 00:13

Thanks user148, I feel frickin free at last, no more having to think is he ok, have I pissed him off, I'm finally fucking free and it's fucking awesome 😍 sorry but not sorry for the swears x

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Notmyrealname85 · 11/07/2017 00:35

Wowowow I know you have responses already but what is his problem?!? He's wanting you to be the smallest self you can be - and not yourself! - to fit his ego. Sod that, you sound 100% more successful in all aspects of life and sound very fulfilled otherwise!

I had an ex who wanted me to be more "feminine", started telling me what to wear, how I should have my nails perfect everyday etc...when I did he hated it even more. You feel constantly on probation and for why? Why be with these losers? They're not giving you anything emotionally and not supporting you, every day is a sabotage attempt.

You sound incompatible with him, and I'm glad to say it! Wouldn't spend more of your life with him tbh, it would be such a waste when you sound otherwise so happy... you've outgrown him and it's no bad thing!

Don't get me started on his past behaviour...

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