This has bothered me.

[UterusUterusGhali]

I've been separated for 4 years now. It's all cool. Mums met was an amazing source of comfort when my H ran off with a colleague.

Anyway, he's split up from the mistress. Weirdly she's now messaging me but i just feel a bit sorry for her.

My issue is that he's moved in with another colleague after four months. Fine, but she has a 4 year old child. He says it's fine as he's worked with her for years. Notwithstanding the fact she's been on his radar since she got off of maternity leave, but that poor kid. :(
He must have had lots of "getting to know you" family days out, which my kids were not privy to.
It seems so grubby.
I had a child when we met but I didn't even let him stay until 6 months in and it was in separate rooms etc.
He rejected my dd when he left leading her to self harm. I hate that that might happen to this child.

It's really bothering me.

If I moved a bloke in after 16 weeks he'd be livid. And rightly so.

I think that's mostly my problem.

How can he think this is a good idea?
I've had plenty of opportunities to get with chaps and I have always had my children's best interests at the forefront of my thinking. So I stil love alone. My dd cut herself ffs. Because of that Jeremy Kyle shit.

And his bloody ex is messaging me apologising. Fgs

Why is she messaging you? Block her phone number.

She had no problem being the OW and now it's over, she's messaging you. Silly woman.

As for your Ex, he'll continue going from one woman to the next. Eventually your kids will realise what a fool he is.

The problem is that these poor judgements can have a way of affecting kids later in life.

I know.

I know this will fuck up that poor child.

I care not a jot about the OS v

Sadly there are a lot of fu**ed up kids because of relationships. But he is not your problem any more and as much as you feel for these children they are not either. It sounds like this man will go through life causing heartache for as long as women will take him on.

No, but my children are my problem.

They have to deal with knowing their dad doesn't want to live with them but does want to live with someone else's child.

Op have your dc had any counseling? You should be able to access this either through the school or their gp.

Sadly with regards to other children it is a case of not your circus not your monkeys.

for your poor dd.

Sadly both the adults here are not thinking of the child and I think it's breath taking self centreness.They feel loved up so that's all that matters.I believe people like this have narcissistic traits as their child isn't a real person with feelings.

No doubt he will treat this woman the same as you and ow.

Yeah but he won't want to live with the other child for long now will he? You can explain that to your own children.

Your children have you as the loving stable constant. The sooner they realise their dad is a dick the easier it will be for them to cope with his dickish behaviour towards them: the realisation that it is him not them who is the one causing the problems.

Block the 'old' OW - she want's you to be her crutch in getting over her (your old) ex.

There's ways of appropriately explaining to your DD about EX's behaviours - kids aren't stupid, it's just they lack the words and life experiences sometimes to explain their ideas/feelings.

Some people lack staying power. Rather than stay (either in a relationship or as friends/co-parents) they run away. It's easier to run away and 'start again' than see the tough times through.