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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Crazy family

13 replies

Horsingaround · 02/07/2017 21:14

I am having a rather rubbish time right now it all started a few months Bk when my stepdad lost his temper with my 8 yr old son and had his arm around his neck son was crying I quickly pulled him off of him and and then he push my son out of anger. We was at a family party and most people sow some or all of it! Obviously son was very upset so we quickly left said party. Since then there has been so many issues no apology and even lie and nasty stuff being said about my son to other family members trying blame him I don't want anything more to do with stepdad ! Which puts me and my mum is a horrible position at the time we both cried and she was really upset with wot he did but now she is agreeing that my son provoked stepdad and thinks it's ok he physically manhandled my son we have fallen out coz I don't want to see stepdad anymore. I don't know wot to do I extremely upset I have fallen out with my mum but I can't put my son in that position again. Hubby says tell them piss off if they r gana be like that but I am so upset any advice thanks ladies x

OP posts:

Original poster

Horsingaround · 02/07/2017 21:15

Sorry for the long story it's very complicated 🙈

OP posts:

AttilaTheMeerkat · 02/07/2017 21:26

I would no longer see either your mother nor stepdad. You're right; you cannot put your son in that position again.

I did wonder why you did not call the police at the time but you probably were too shocked to do anything at the time other than to get away from them (which was the right thing to do).

Your mother has basically chosen to side with her abusive H; she is not the person you thought she was. She has done that for many and her own reasons likely fear of her H, self preservation and self interest. Neither has apologised nor has taken any responsibility for their actions. You owe these people nothing really.

Hissy · 02/07/2017 23:37

Very similar to what happened to me, except some how BOTH my mother and her vile h hurt and scared my ds.

I'm NC with the lot of them. It's the beginning of a painful journey as you watch people carry on without taking any sides, so NOT your side, despite all the crap these people do to our dc...

rascallyrascal · 02/07/2017 23:42

Your DS is 8. How can your stepdad possibly justify hurting a young boy by saying he was provoked? He is 8 ffs, there is nothing an 8 year old can do to justify being assaulted by a grown man. Sorry, but I think until your mum realises what an arse her husband is you need to not see them. Sorry you are having to go through this.

SandyY2K · 02/07/2017 23:49

I agree with your husband.

fc301 · 02/07/2017 23:56

You are doing absolute the right thing. Your poor son must have been terrified!
A very similar situation happened to a friend. Neither her mother nor mothers partner ever accepted any responsibility, blaming the child for bad behaviour. But my friend stuck to her guns and has never put her son in that situation since.

fc301 · 02/07/2017 23:57

PS in her case it was a slap. Your sons assault sounds much worse. Totally totally unacceptable.

AndBandPlayedScotlandTheBrave · 03/07/2017 01:10

Protect your son.
I also agree with your husband.

Bosabosa · 03/07/2017 01:15

Protect your son, hard not to see your mum but she has chosen her husband over her grandson, you need to choose your son over her. I agree with your hubby

Isetan · 03/07/2017 07:36

Your mother has chosen a side because simply it's more convenient to back him over her daughter and grandson. Grieve the relationship you thought you had with her and accept the one you have.

Original poster

Horsingaround · 03/07/2017 09:38

Thanks for all the comments it's hard when ur put in positions like this I have them saying I am over reacting and it was no big deal it's a really horrible time. I know I have to stand up for my son I jus wish my mum wasn't being like this. They have gone round most of the family saying lies about wot happened blaming my son all people who didn't see it are listening too them it is hell being me right now!! 😭

OP posts:

OnTheRise · 03/07/2017 09:51

You are not overreacting. You want to protect your child, which is a good thing. They sound awful.

Ignore the lies they're telling people about you. You can't do anything about that. Just behave with dignity and serenity, and don't let them near your son.

Hissy · 03/07/2017 12:15

Do they think people would be so dumb as to think that an 8yo did something so heinous that a grown male would lose all sense and reason and shove him?

On what planet could any of this be your DS fault.

those who believe this vile prick over you and your family are no friends and at least it will save you a bomb in christmas cards.

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