The EA script...

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

Inspired by another thread can you post examples of the above...

Common themes I have experienced are;

Attacks on appearance - you dress too provocatively/you are too conservative

You only wear so much make up because you are insecure

You're too fat or too thin

Attacks on support networks -

Why are you friends with x? They take advantage of you/I don't like them etc

I find ea people can't get their head around loyalty - a v close friend left her husband for another man - both exes cannot fathom why I haven't ditched her and sided with the husband. Friendship is so much more complex than that and can't be simplified to taking sides. And I did support the husband as well as the wife.

Attacks on your parenting -

Apparently I spoil dd1 and ignore dd2. Only exp thought that. No one else. They are both cherished and indulged. If exp thought he saw any favouritism he would challenge me on the spot. Exp also bullied dd1

Attacks on your job and skills to do it

• I don't know how you cope/colleagues can tolerate you....

I could go on what are your experiences?

Look at their driving too. It’s a big tell, because it’s disinhibiting

YY.

Ex #1: used to brag to his friends about the time he drove so recklessly round a roundabout that two of the wheels came off the road and I burst into tears because I thought he was going to kill me.

Ex #1: used to light up a spliff and smoke it while driving over the speed limit on the motorway.

Ex #2: used to pretend that we were being followed by one of his drug dealer friends and drive like a maniac, insisting our lives were in danger. Then smirk and tell me he was joking when we got home.

stbxh didn't drive. Mind, he didn't cook, clean, do school runs (walking distance at one point), packed lunches, housework, washing...
All of those things were never quite up to scratch though.

Oh, and he'd criticise my driving!

Ex #1: used to light up a spliff and smoke it while driving over the speed limit on the motorway.

Yup mine too. Mine even tried to assemble a spliff a few times, while driving along quieter country roads. And send texts...and emails...and look for stuff that had fallen into the footwell.

Articles often recommend the 'waitress test' when looking for red flags. But most abusive men are very keen to preserve their nice guy image and will often be excessively polite to waitresses and shop staff. Street angel/house devil and all that. In my opinion, driving is the more accurate predictor.

Articles often recommend the 'waitress test' when looking for red flags. But most abusive men are very keen to preserve their nice guy image and will often be excessively polite to waitresses and shop staff. Street angel/house devil and all that. In my opinion, driving is the more accurate predictor.

Yes, in my experience they are polite but over-familiar with staff. Likely to call waiters and shop assistants "boss" and be overly friendly. They call female staff "love" and "sweetheart" and always make smalltalk.

I pleased with exp not to use his phone when we were in the car.

Yes, stbxh would always be charming to everyone on the incredibly rare occasions we went out.
Am now in the situation whereby everyone believes I'm the baddie and wondering whether to report his support worker for encouraging him to contact a dd that didn't want contact. (She's an adult, but has difficulties). Apparently said worker told him he was failing her by not contacting her. Obviously the fucking worker totally believes stbxh and doesn't comprehend abuse. Surely the better tack would be to suggest he wait until she's ready. At least be open to the fact that there are two sides to the story and that the police don't charge people with assault for no reason!