My ex is contacting me

[user1491812680]

Just this. I ended our relationship 5 months ago due to.his behaviour. He was drinking 4 nights out of 7 mostly wine at home although always enough money for him to have 'a few pints' on a Saturday nite - or a 'bargain' thirty he saw in oxfam- but literally then objecting to contributing for groceries etc - would pay me in installments if we needed heating oil! He literally couldn't save £10 a week. I'm on same monthly salary as him and yet I always had to have money put aside for anything unexpected as he was so shit.

Our rental home was bursting at the seems with all his so called bargains and honestly it's like a different house now he is gone but he is now starting to contact me - asking how I am - sending my old photos on his phone of my dc - asking do I need him to walk my dog if I'm away etc.

I'm trying to be polite but WHY is what I want to know. Why can't I tell hime to fk off?! - so annoyed with myself

• bargain t-shirt

Block.
Delete.
Move on..

I've done that - his texts etc go to my spam folder. I've removed and blocked him from social media etc.

Stop responding to him. You have no obligation to be polite.

If 'fuck off' is a step too far, try dignified silence.

I have typed messages out to him saying fk off etc but I can't seem to send them.I'm so angry with myself. I think I could manage a dignified silence but I worry then he will turn up at my house.

He is still having mail delivered here - won't change his address so I have been returning to sender. Most of them debt collectors looking for money! - I've asked him to contact the post office etc or the companies concerned and all he will say is 'I don't know who is contacting me u need to give me the letters'. He is a Cocklodger!

He is on electoral roll here - I've written to them via registered post to tell them he doesn't live here. - he has yet to apologise for anything! - sad actually

Why are you reading his texts?

Can you not block him completely rather than things going to spam?

I do understand - I have an ex that I haven't seen or spoken to since 2012 who still calls me and sends texts but I just ignore him.

No contact means no contact, not for anything. It's still early days for you but you need to harden up and move on

Return the letters to sender with a note on the bottom saying 'Moved to xyz...' You'll get debt collectors on your doorstep next otherwise. Just ignore calls/texts and he should get the message you're not interested.

He is still having mail delivered here - won't change his address so I have been returning to sender. Most of them debt collectors looking for money! - I've asked him to contact the post office etc or the companies concerned and all he will say is 'I don't know who is contacting me u need to give me the letters'. He is a Cocklodger!

It's his a way of forcing contact on you.

Very important that you request your credit report and write back to them to clarify he moved out to prevent you and your address from being affected by his debts. Better to do this sooner rather than later.

My credit score is OK - I had it checked - have no debt personally not even an overdraft or a credit card. This house is a rental so letters arriving for past tenants etc. What do I do if debt collectors show at this house. I don't have his new address. I have written to companies by registered post saying he doesn't live here.

I thought it was putting messages into spam that worked? - can u block messages entirely from a Samsung phone?

I would never go back there. He was physically and mentally abusive also

Another 2 messages which I've ignored - asking if I have post as he is waiting on something important - I've never once passed any mail to him since he moved out!

I'm worried - if I tell him to go away that it will mean an onslaught of nastiness from him and if I still ignore it he will show up at my house! 😣

If he continues to contact you despite you clearly telling him not to, then I believe he is committing an offence. I think then that the police can become involved if he doesn't back off?

Do you have his parents/ works address?

Sticker across front of letter saying "not at this address" & a card inside saying try THIS address (parent/work) & include his mobile number.
If he is running up debts, give them a new lead to follow. You don't want all the hassle of debt collectors/bailiffs etc coming to YOUR door.
Deny all knowledge if asked. Block, delete, ignore.

It may galvanise him into getting his mail redirected.

What chillyegg said

Continue ignoring.

Any response, even a fuck off and leave me alone, is a reward to him. It shows that you are reading his messages, he will immediately ramp it up. That's what will actually make him turn up at your house.

If he does turn up, you don't answer the door, you certainly don't talk to him at all, even to tell him to go away. If he starts to behave badly you phone the police about your crazy drunk ex getting aggressive outside your house (do not warn him you are about to phone: you are totally ignoring him). The police will have him out of there in no time.

Get onto Google and work out how to block or auto delete the messages so you never even know they were sent.

Thanks all - I will ignore completely