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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP Depression and Ex

2 replies

Ofalltheginjoints · 01/07/2017 19:32

DP has been to the doctors and has depression they haven't medicated and said to review in 6-8 weeks, I'm supportive as I can be (I think anyway) and there are a number of things that are causing stress.

When reading DP's phone (he had asked me to check a message from his ex) I saw a conversation that he must've thought he'd deleted, DP regularly deletes all messages from everyone.

Messages talked about his depression and suggestions from his ex about things that may help.

Now I'm quite friendly with his ex she comes over for dinner and I like her, I trust DP fully and I'm not concerned that anything is going on, they lived together in a flat share when DP and I met and she has her own partner which pre dates our 3yr relationship.

I feel gutted that DP isn't able to talk to me in the way he can with his ex, when asked about who he is getting support from he mentioned another friend but left ex out, he doesn't overly share his feelings with me about the depression as I have a very demanding job which involves a lot of stress and he doesn't want to add to that despite me telling him as a partnership that's what I'm here for, the good and the rough times?

I don't even know why I'm posting this has me so conflicted

OP posts:
Justhadmyhaircut · 01/07/2017 19:37

Maybe he feels like he is letting you down in some way by having something going 'wrong' with him?
She won't have any expectations of him. .
But do encourage him to talk to you - without saying you saw the messages.
Please don't let him use his depression as an excuse to treat you badly though. .

(plenty of exh experience of depression as an excuse for twatism)

Ofalltheginjoints · 01/07/2017 19:41

Thanks for the reply, you may be right in the not letting me down respect, I'm disabled and he doesn't have to help me at times, I think he feels he has to be strong to support me?

I won't use it as an excuse to treat me badly, DP is honestly lovely (but aren't they all to start with?) but I have my limits to what I will tolerate

OP posts:
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