My abusive ex was shown the door almost four years ago. For about a year I exhausted myself trying to keep him in the children's lives. After a series of utter fuckeries by him, quite serious ones involving a gf he had who had her dc removed because of neglect, I drew a line. I said he had to go through a solicitor if he wanted to see his dc. He never bothered.
About 11 months went by, and my son wanted to speak to him, but was too scared to call him so I suggested he text him. He rang my son right away, which opened up a discussion about him seeing the dc. By then he had another gf whom he clearly wanted to impress.
I offered him structured contact as he had been away from them for so long, way more than the law would accept as a starting point, but he immediately (and I mean within 30 seconds of him receiving my text) said he'd see me in court
He had no intention of seeing them, but every intention of making out that he'd tried, but I was so awful I had stopped him, which everyone round here knows is an utter joke.
So, come September this year, it'll be three years since he's seen the dc.
I worried for a bit, particularly with my older child who was a bit sad about it, but I stopped worrying and started using all my energy on being the one good parent.
It's absolutely fine now. The dc have totally adjusted, they never mention him (he still lives around here and we see him about sometimes, never speak to him, my youngest doesn't ever realise it's him!). The dc are amazing frankly, and have shown me the way.
He's with yet another gf at the moment, she has three dc of her own, she also knows about all the emotional, financial and physical abuse I suffered at his hands (more long stories), and yet she is with him.
There really is no accounting for some people.
Oh, and recently I found out that he finally got a decent job, put in a claim for cm, and boom, he's having to pay it, through his employer.
He can't refuse to pay, if you know where he works it will be deducted at source.