Need to feel positive about this visit.

[Dashper]

I had an argument with my father in March. I questioned his behaviour towards my DSis over me, he went nuts, neither of us apologised and we brushed it under the carpet.
DH, DS and I are visiting him for a long weekend at the end of the month and I've started getting nervous about it.
I very much doubt that DF will say or do anything different, beyond maybe a small dig about visiting (the cause of the argument) but I need help feeling positive about this trip.
Everything else in my life is going really well. I've even finally recognised my anxiety issues and started online CBT. Hence my need to try to be positive here.
I feel like I've lost all respect for DF after the horrible things he said. I suppose he loves me but I can't get past what he said right now. So how do I make this a good, non-nervous visit?

I'm very sorry this happened to you. I've experienced something similar.
I can't know all of the details of course. You called him out on his favouritism of your sister. He went ballistic? You have not apologised because you still hold the same views, he has not apologised for behaving poorly AND reacting badly to it being pointed out.so you've both minimised it.
In your shoes there is no way I'd be putting myself under his roof for a long weekend, is there a more independent way that you can visit him? Premier Inn etc.
You say " I suppose he loves me" which is VERY telling. Maybe he doesn't, maybe deep down he cares only for himself. If so this makes him a deeply flawed person but is no bad reflection on you.
Try not to allow him to validate you. You are an independent person. Harder to say than do I know, I've had 18months to move on.
Read up on narcissism if anything I've said here fits and the Stately Homes thread here is excellent for helping to know ITS NOT YOU ITS HIM. 💐

The fact he has not attempted to build bridges from March - July is a red flag.

Thank you for replying fc301.
I suggested a visit over Easter, he said no as wanted a rest after other visitors. I said fair enough but next visit could be a while as I'd just started back at work. Then he found the energy for Dsis and her family to visit for part of the long weekend. After he made a comment about me maybe booking in time for Easter next year (there was no way I could have this year- his DPs family were there for her 70th), I asked how come he made room for DSis but not us.
I put his behaviour down to me suggesting something his suffered badly from himself as a child. Maybe he's a narcissist too. I'll look it up.
There are no hotels nearby and we've booked our train tickets. However, I might view this as being in lieu of a Christmas visit.
He's made no attempt at repairing things. After the email exchange, I left it 2 weeks then sent him photos of DS which he replied to appreciatively.

Ok. Maybe just lower your expectations? Hope it goes ok.

I've been mulling this over and whilst I'd prefer not to go (I've never felt nervous of seeing DF before and I hate that), DH has pointed out that DF will get very upset if I cancel now. I'm not sure I'm ready for a full on NC. Which I wouldn't put past him