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Original poster

In laws and grandkids

14 replies

Missushb · 30/06/2017 04:02

My dh has two sisters. Both are mollycoddled still my his parents, dh left to it. We have two kids ds and dd. Sister in law has one daughter. She is 2.5 and our dd is 6 months so she's been around for a while now! The other day at a family gathering my fil was cuddling sister in laws daughter and called her his bestest girl...in front of me holding our dd, his other grand daughter. Is it just me or is this just a bit cruel and really thoughtless? Fil always says and does things in this vein. My dh wasn't in the room at the time or I think he would have said something, although he generally lets it all go over his head and he's had it his whole life with his sisters blatantly being favoured. The next time something like this happens I would like to say something, without starting a full blown drama, how do you make your point without sounding like you're the one in the wrong about being annoyed about stuff like this?

OP posts:
Inneedofadvice20172234 · 30/06/2017 04:34

Gosh you need to get over that - it was a throw away comment and you have totally overreacted. I think the issue may be with you and how you perceive their approach.

Have you any concrete evidence apart from this?! You just sound a bit resentful otherwise.

If you really had to make a thing of it then I would have made a 'joke' like 'be careful dd will be understanding soon and she'll be getting jealous'!

Nocabbageinmyeye · 30/06/2017 07:30

I agree you are definitely over reacting and being too sensitive. I have two dd's and often say it and then correct myself to best big girl or small girl or whatever it's not a big deal at all. Plus your dd is 6 months old, she can't understand him anyway a d he'd be used to saying it to his older granddaughter.

I wouldn't say it at all. I bet he'll say it to your dd too when she starts interacting properly

Rhubarbginisnotasin · 30/06/2017 07:35

OP, it was the kind of comments people say to children and soon enough grandpa will realise and automatically change it to the best baby girl in the world, the best big girl in the world, the best little girl in the world. Just let it go.

AntiopeofThemyscira · 30/06/2017 07:38

The older grandchild is old enough to understand him saying that, your dd isn't, as she gets older he will probably start saying similar to her. Unless there's much more going on than you have said I think you're overreacting a bit.

JustMumNowNotMe · 30/06/2017 07:39

Jesus, sensitive much?! Confused

PotteringAlong · 30/06/2017 07:42

You are in the wrong! I have 3 sons. I call all of them "my best boy" at some point, probably in hearing if the others.

You are going to have a long hard relationship with your in laws if you react like this to any off the cuff remark

Thinkingblonde · 30/06/2017 07:51

My dad used to say it to all of 11 of his grandkids, "You're my best". We were looking at photos of him recently, one of my nieces said "we were all his best". None of them are traumatisied by it.
I'd let it go unless they obviously favour the others over your dd.

AgathaCrispie · 30/06/2017 08:35

If your DD was older enough to understand the comment then you would have a point. But she isn't, and it's the kind of silly throwaway thing grandparents say.

thethoughtfox · 30/06/2017 08:35

It is a meaningless comment meant to show love

ChestOfDrawers · 30/06/2017 13:59

What else has FIL said and done? Your op mentions other stuff that might mean this wasn't a throwaway meaningless comment if there is form. Everyone here is being very quick to judge you and I don't think that's helpful.

thetruthwillsetyoufree · 10/08/2017 22:04

I have to say I sort of disagree with all of above comments. This is how it started with us with regards to favouritism between grandchildren. I wouldn't say anything just yet and see how it goes. If you don't see or hear anything like that again it may of been a one off. If it continues and it starts to upset you I is ok to have a word about it but be aware they will think you are the jealous one. Good luck is what I will say as we are totally cut off from family because of it xx

Maelstrop · 10/08/2017 23:35

Is the older girl the first grandchild? Tbbrutallyh, two and a half year olds are more interactive and fun than 6 month olds. I bet your dd is the most gorgeous baby, but the toddler is just more fun due to being walking talking. I wouldn't stress over the comment, he probably loves them both equally, but he gets answers from the toddler!

EveryDayANewName · 11/08/2017 00:19

I think it's a normal thing to say. I wouldn't have noticed it as being something that was insensitive in fact I'd have thought it sweet.

However.....if your DD gets upset by it at a later date then you could mention it to your FIL. I think she would be more likely to be upset if she picks up negative vibes via your feelings on it.

Also, if your FIL is generally an unpleasant person then maybe it was said on purpose to piss you off.

BenLui · 11/08/2017 00:21

I would just say mildly "just as well DD isn't old enough to understand that hmm?"

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