If your partner said this how would you feel?

[marmiteisnice]

Walking through town and we bump into an old friend of my dp. Admittedly she is a very pretty woman. After we leave her he says ' she used to be gorgeous' I wasn't really sure what to make of the comment. I don't think he should have said that to me. Or am I just being sensitive? And I'm guessing he used the the phrase 'used to' as she had some sort of rash on her face and he tends to notice that on people. I feel a bit annoyed that he admitted to me he found her gorgeous and also annoyed at how shallow he acted.

He's not gonna win here is he?

Oh dear.
He said a perfectly normal thing and you are reacting in a very weird way - not to mention 'sensitive'. What he meant was that he used to fancy her and now he doesn't.

Why shouldn't he say that to you? And do you know many people with rashes on their faces that you meet often and that he comments on?

He was just passing comment on how she's (in his mind) aged / let go of herself.
You said it was an old friend not ex partner so yabu, you don't know her so why should it bother you, unless they are still in regular contact.

It was a flippant comment. Move on

Is it really such a problem that your partner finds some other women to be gorgeous? I'm sure you find other men to be very handsome. I think you need to let go of these pointless insecurities.

I can empathise op. I have low self esteem and anxieties pin pointed around other women - try and rationalise it but don't be afraid to talk to him about it and let him know how you feel, talking will make the issue smaller for you too xx

I've done it before. Lads in high school who I thought was gorgeous, fast forward to now and I've seen a few from high school and I have thought what happened/what wrong/ why would you do that yourself.
I think most people do it, some verbalize it and others just keep it in their head.

I don't think it's a very nice thing to comment on from anyone, so I wouldn't like it.

If a girlfriend said this to you what and how would you react?

I would be annoyed if dh said that but I don't think I'd say anything. He probably just didn't think.

I wouldn't like it .. But I appreciate that's my issue

I wouldn't think anything of it. DH and I often comment favourably on others' attractiveness, past or present - neither of us are oil paintings and we both know there are lots of people far better looking (in the conventional sense) than we have ever been or could ever hope to be.

I would think less of him because it's a horrible thing to say about someone.

I disagree with everyone.

If you feel he was commenting on the rash then he's being pretty shallow.

But perhaps if he said she's gorgeous he thought you'd be mad?

I think you need to have a word with yourself. Whatever he'd of said by the sounds of things would have been grounds for you to kick off.
It was an off the cuff remark. Move on

I know you can't help insecurities, but I think you are reading far too much into it. It sounds like an innocent enough comment saying that he used to be attracted to her and now he's not.

I think his comment was mean-spirited.

I'd not take it personally though.

I suppose he's got a portrait in the attic and is growing more gorgeous by the day?

I wouldn't like a even friend of mine making such a pointless, petty & shallow comment, but that's not the angle you're taking here, is it?