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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Everything will be great!

29 replies

Bradshawisabell · 29/06/2017 14:03

My DP of 5 years, broke up with me day 5 into an 11 day holiday in the Caribbean (you may or may not remember my thread). This was last October and I was absolutely blindsided and completely devastated.
I came to MN for support, people explained there was probably someone else. That hurt. There was but not who I suspected and that didn't come out for months. I spent about 6 months in a fog, didn't eat properly or sleep much. I switched between crying and just feeling empty.

I was fairly dignified I think. Didn't chase him. Cut him off completely for about 4 months (then met up after a momentary lapse in judgement) and have now cut him off again since March. And forever.

I just remember how terribly sad I felt. People kept telling me I'd get over it but I really didn't believe them. I was thinking "our relationship wasn't like everyone else's" or "I'll never fall in love again". I honestly thought I would never feel ok ever again.

But I can't even really remember the depth of those feelings now. I've reconnected with all my friends. I've started seeing a HOT guy. Who is fun and beautiful and the sex is amazing. But first and foremost I just feel happy and free.
I was out with a mutual friend of the ex last week who mentioned his girlfriend (the OW) and it just didn't hurt. At all. It's no longer a hot knife through my heart. In the words of Gotye, now he's just somebody that I used to know Grin

Anyway, I only wanted to post to say to anyone that is struggling at the moment with a cheaty bastard....Don't worry.

It WILL be ok
You WILL be happy
Think of all the new HOT sex
Think of all the friends you can reconnect with.

And never forget, he's a turd Wink

OP posts:
Thebluedog · 29/06/2017 14:05

WineFlowers

Bradshawisabell · 29/06/2017 14:07

WineWine hope you are ok Bluedog

OP posts:
Trickycat · 29/06/2017 14:09

Gosh this made me cry. Thanks for the positive message.

Sometimes it is still overwhelming.

Dawnedlightly · 29/06/2017 14:12

Yay!!
So pleased for you and what a great message. 🙌🏻

Bluesue26 · 29/06/2017 14:39

I love these kinds of threads. Gives people hope - myself included. Good for you OP. Long may it continue Flowers

Bradshawisabell · 29/06/2017 14:46

trickycat Flowers
dawnedlightly Grin testify!
bluesue Flowers

OP posts:
Bradshawisabell · 29/06/2017 14:48

And last thing - lean on your mates, even when you're worried you are boring the tits off them. Mine (and one will prob read this) were there for me unconditionally. Don't know what I'd have done without them.

OP posts:
XJerseyGirlX · 29/06/2017 14:51

I remember your thread. congrats on your new Hot guy :-)
Im glad everything worked out for you OP x

Brahms3rdracket · 29/06/2017 15:01

I remember you. So glad you're not only ok, but so happy. Good for you FlowersWine

ems137 · 29/06/2017 15:03

Well done you!!

The old cliche about time being a great healer is so true. You think at the time that you'll never get over it but you do, and you can then look back and see the relationship without rose tinted glasses on.

user1496940061 · 29/06/2017 15:04

They are inspiring words !

I'm a guy just going through a painful breakup and that has helped to see there will be light and the end of this dark tunnel.

Thanks for sharing your positive experience.

Good things happen to good people

Bradshawisabell · 29/06/2017 15:57

jersey brahms thank you x

OP posts:
isitjustme2017 · 29/06/2017 17:03

Good for you! Hope life continues be great for you Flowers

whatsmyname2017 · 29/06/2017 17:04

I love this. I read a post on here a while back and many of the posters were saying how months and years down the line they still felt empty and sad. It actually completely depressed me.

This is what I need to hear Grin thanks

Bradshawisabell · 29/06/2017 22:29

Hope things get better quickly user
I think you just have to be realistic and accept things will be hard but know that it will get better.

OP posts:
MyheartbelongstoG · 29/06/2017 22:54

Happy for you op!

And yes yes to turd.

Want2beme · 29/06/2017 23:10

Bradshawisabell everything you've said, but sadly no hot guy for me - yet!!

So glad you're having a ball. Life does get better.

misit · 30/06/2017 00:23

I remember your thread OP. Every cloud eh? and that was some cloud.

Brilliant.

user1498193554 · 30/06/2017 05:22

That is so lovely to hear, you definitely deserve to be with someone who appreciates how ace you are!

Bradshawisabell · 30/06/2017 09:59

wanttobeme glad you are doing well! They DO!

OP posts:
Bradshawisabell · 30/06/2017 09:59

misit it was a big pissy rain cloud that pissed on my head for 5 years. Grin

OP posts:
user1496940061 · 30/06/2017 10:19

I also agree about talking to friends
I keep apologising for talking about my situation but they just become even stronger for me!
The love of your life can shit on you but true friends are there for life !

Girlywurly · 30/06/2017 11:19

What a lovely thread. Thank you. Flowers

hellsbellsmelons · 30/06/2017 11:38

I remember you as well.
So glad it's working out for you.
I split with my cheating Ex back in February.
Still a bit raw and not ready to move on yet but I'll get there.
Went through far worse with ExH.
Hopefully I'll be in your position in a few months time.
But I'm enjoying the single life for now.
And the part about leaning on friends is so true.
I always always advise this on here.
It's so important, they get you through the truly shit times.
Well done and thanks for updating.

Ginlovinglady · 30/06/2017 12:21

Yay that's great! Thanks for updating
I do wonder how things work out for people on these threads FlowersWine

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