Separated after EA FA relationship - spent nearly a year in the marital home after requesting separation with EXDH sticking head in sand but having increasing explosions of rage. One kid, 3. EXDH works away part of the week and basically did nothing when DD was tiny. DD and I have always been very close, was a very high needs baby and multiple allergies to have BF longer than anticipated. DD has coped very well with split and really enjoyed the first months of contact centre (picked for neutrality as I was in very temporary accommodation and didn't want EXDH to know where we were) Now doing an overnight vist at weekend and a teatime visit earlier in the week. (EXDH no longer working away)
However, DD getting increasingly anxious. Asks every day who will pick her up from childminder. Relieved if its me, if its Dad, anxious about staying overnight. Have been making the best fake positive noises I can, emphasising how much her Dad wants to see her etc. EXDH even agreed she had been sayign the visits were too long too long and agreed not to step up contact to a full weekend. EXDH now pushing he wants to take her away for a week. I feel like he's pushing for the sake of pushing, rather than being child led on this. Does nothing with her on the contact visits to make it fun, just plays in the house. My solicitor says "need to show willing" - have agreed to 2 nights and suggested taking her in day instead of childminder but really frustrated that my kid's feelings don;t seem to matter - its me trying to cheer up this wee girl and make it positive and we're not getting far. Admittedly its been 2 months of doing overnights, so not that long but all I've heard is "children settle really quickly".