I am 17 as is my girlfriend. We both, around 2 weeks ago, weirdly said the same thing: we don't know what's going to happen in university, which is a year off yet but we both said it at the same time. We also said that we feel married off already as we do a lot together i.e. school, after-school, most weekends, and although it is not a bad thing exactly, obviously our friends are neglected a bit which we try to limit but it seems to just happen as it is often easier to be together. Also, she is very intertwined with my family, being close to my mother in particular. So, when we said we wanted time alone to see how things were without eachother to save the heartache (possible heartache) next year of when we go to university (we both said we'd probably find it too difficult through university to stay together - its far off but we still thought this), we thought we'd end things mutually and amicably, vowing to stay friends.
At first, I found this difficult but she seemed more optimistic and positive. So, i changed and became a bit more optimistic and was genuinely enjoying my time alone. However, at a party on the weekend, she got into an argument with her bestfriend and, unbeknownst to me, called my mom because she had a panic attack. Long story short, my mom said to me she had better come back purely for welfare sake, which was difficult for me in that i cared for her but didn't want things to spark back up so soon. She came back, we had sex, now she is saying she regrets our decision. But, i don't, at least not yet anyway. She has been with her friends for the past 2 weeks, and one of them is constantly wanting to meet these group of lads which my gf says she feels uncomfortable doing purely because she thinks, and rightly so, it is too soon to be surrounding yourself with lads who you don't necessarily know but who take an interest in you. Because she has felt uncomfortable doing this, i feel like she is only regretting it because she has little else to do but meet these lads, so i think she wants to get back to just fill the time kind of thing. I have touched on this with her but nothing has really come of it.
I said yesterday that I want some time still to get my head right as it has only been 2 weeks since our decision, and for both of us to come to that decision, obviously it is something we wanted/needed, and although she regrets it, i'm not sure if its wholly sincere.
I feel really pressured at the moment 1. due to school work and 2. because of this issue, and it was much easier when she was with her friends because we weren't talking, and although i have realised i really do enjoy her company and it feels natural to be around her etc, i still need time for a bit. BUT, this weekend, i wanted to visit a university for an open day, so did she. She said her dad could give us a lift, which i said fine i'll come as i had no other way of getting there, and since we agreed to be friends, i thought it'll be fine. Ever since she has said she regrets it and has increasingly attempted to/become more couple-y with me, i feel anxious because 1. i don't want her to get a false idea despite what i have said and 2. i don't want her to think she can come back to mine afterwards because of our situation. Anyway, he couldn't take us, and my mom has offered to. So really, my issue is, which is need advice on please is: how do i convey i need more time and space without any relationship-type things more strongly so she understands but not hurt her feelings, and what do i do if i end up realising the break-up should be permanent? Although i do love her and want to be with her, i have enjoyed my company and my friends', and have realised the low amount of stress i have had since our break up. Effectively, i don't know if my decision was right, how long i should wait to see or whether i should make it permanent.
Thank you.