Will it work?

[Jasmine13]

My husband has left me for his OW. She has left her husband and daughter. As far as I know they only really know each other as work colleagues and have had emotional talks about their problems at home and have got closer after this.

They are getting a place together and want to make a go of it and although I know it is over for the two of us I can't help feeling that I don't want it to work between the two of them. I know I need to just move on but hate the thought of them together.

Let them stay together. They deserve each other. Focus on your life and the future you can build for yourself.

Well of course you don't want it to work but as natural as it is to think about them you have to try not to think about it and focus more on yourself. Have you good a good support network?

Been there bought the tee shirt. Leave them to it. Concentrate on your self. Go NC with him. Let him do all the work now. Divorce proceedings etc. Let him pay for it all. You get your ducks in a row and ready for battle to commence. Don't be a pushover.
If you are up for it, go dating again. I was dating the next day. The DP couldn't handle it. Turn the page and start a new chapter

Worry about yourself

I agree with the pps who advise you to focus on yourself.
Definitely block him as much as you can and do something for yourself. Join a club, a gym, book a holiday, buy a new frock, get your hair style changed. Whatever it takes to signify that this is the new you, the new you who has shed 12 stone of useless disloyal weight!
Of course he may weigh more or less than 12 stone......

We also have a child together so have to deal with the issues that come with that too. Trying so hard to not think about them and pray to god this gets easier.

Totally understandable to feel the way you do OP but PP's are right that you need to focus on yourself. In all likelihood it won't work between them, they're both capable of deceit/cheating and there's bound to be trust issues as a result. Wouldn't it be great if, by the time it all comes crashing down for them, your life was sorted and happy?

Focus on that, use your anger towards them to drive you forward if it helps but building your own life so you're happy and strong without him really is the best revenge. I would be utterly determined that he would never get the chance to use me as his 'consolation prize' so being strong and sorted enough to turn him down when it all goes wrong with her and he wants to run back to you would be vitally important to me. Show him what he's lost OP, what he can never get back because you demand respect and loyalty and he has neither, the OW would be welcome to him for me.

I was cheated on by exW who eventually moved OM into the marital home. That was bloody difficult to swallow.

Go and see Relate and have a vent for an hour, it's cathartic (I wasn't a cheerleader for counselling before, but it helped). Then just remind yourself that this will eventually all get better, with the "bonus" being that you'll likely lose some weight in the short term.

Imagine leaving your daughter for a guy at work, Jesus, she sounds shallow as.

Must be really hard OP but some great advice here.

Just imagine the shit the two of them are going to have to face with her husband and her daughter, not nice, least you are free of the cheating git.

Thank you everyone. I know I need to move on and I'm trying so hard.

They both disgust me and it's bad enough he left his child but for a woman to leave hers is truly awful. The fact that one day he will possibly be bringing up someone else's child when he couldn't be bothered to bring up his own angers me so much.

what you're feeling is natural.
they deserve each other though.

soon enough, the honeymoon period will pass and the day to day grind will kick in.
he's in for a shock.

Washing some ones skid marked undies is always the same once the dust has settled.

If they broke up horribly you'd get a few weeks of smug satisfaction that he got what he deserved...
Then you'd see him dating and having fun going off and doing single things and meeting someone else, then settling down.

What I'm trying to say is at least this way you can say he left you for this other specific person, not just anyone, to be able to leave you.
That's so badly put but I hope you might understand what I'm trying to say.

I have an amazing family but at the moment I just want to be by myself and they fully understand that but are always ready to talk or come over if I need them.

How can people do this? How do they not feel guilt and does their conscience not kick in!?

I am good at putting on my 'happy face' so will not let him see how badly this has affected me - although I don't think he cares anyway as they are still in the honeymoon period and nothing else matters.