Advice for a friend

[jellyrolly]

Best advice for a friend whose husband has suddenly left? No kids, joint mortgage. I want to help more than just listening, I don't want her to be taken advantage of (which I think she will be). He is behaving very secretively. Thank you in advance.

Why has he left?

First port of call, solicitor. And a good friend, she must be in shock.

for your friend.

Be prepared to find out about ow. . .

He hasn't given any reason. I expect there will be an OW revealed in due course. I will advise a solicitor. I'm afraid she's still under the impression he is a decent bloke so she doesn't need one, I feel so sorry for her.

No no no.
They all say they'll do the right thing etc....
And many many many of us on here can speak from bitter experience - IT NEVER LASTS!
The guilt goes and then you get truly screwed over.
She absolutely must see a solicitor.
Some give a free half hour.
Get her to see as many as possible in your area.
It means he can't use them!
Do they have joint accounts at all?
If so, she needs to freeze them immediately.
Can she afford the mortgage on her own / buy him out?
If not then she needs to get the house on the market asap.
With no kids it makes it easier.
Any other properties???

How long have they been married?
Do they both have decent pensions?
If she's being all nicey nicey - then yes, he will totally take advantage of that.

I agree hellsbells, I'm gently trying to bring her around to seeing how vulnerable she is but she is really in shock and can't see it. Unfortunately we live quite far apart but she is coming to stay here. He isn't even being nice now, I get the feeling he is biding his time until some undisclosed plan is finalised (OW/house sale plans etc?) She can just about afford to run the house alone but couldn't buy him out. No other properties and married 20 years. I will ask her about pensions but I think they are separate.

Thank you, it's helpful to have a bit of a list of things to try and prepare/protect her.

Can you explain how freezing the joint accounts works? Surely all the usual direct debits etc would still need to be paid? They are both still living in the house but he is just ignoring her!!