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Relationships

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Original poster

Not his tiger stripes

23 replies

anxiousnow · 28/06/2017 01:57

I read a lovely post earlier. A woman apologising for how her body is not the body her man fell in love with due to pregnancy. The man had replied that he loves her body even more as carried his children. I get that but what if you have a new man? So the mummy tummy and stretch marks are not through carrying their child? The thought of showing someone else cripples me.

OP posts:

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 28/06/2017 02:05

Stretch marks and mummy tummies are a normal part of a woman and if hes finding you sexy with your clothes on then hes going to be finding you sexy with them off

woopwhop · 28/06/2017 02:07

I have stretch marks and a big wobbly tum and cellulite and everything else (and no children) and I promise that when you're at the point clothes are coming off a guy will not give a shit.

woopwhop · 28/06/2017 02:10

I mean he WILL give a shit but only about getting you more naked and into his bed. Or over the kitchen table or whatever it is you're up to!

Shadow666 · 28/06/2017 02:13

Reminds me of that great line in Shirley Valentine

Original poster

anxiousnow · 28/06/2017 02:14

OK thank you. The problem is that you really can't tell when I am dressed. He thinks I have a good figure but has no idea what let's under my jeans. I feel like false advertising or something. He said he wants to kiss my tummy as thinks It's nice but hasn't seen it. Would you warn him? In detail spelling out what is there or just wait till the moment happens... if I don't bail as honestly the thought of being naked takes over and I avoid the situation.

OP posts:

woopwhop · 28/06/2017 02:15

Don't tell him! He'll be fine. He will not be horrified I promise. Enjoy the kissing.

Original poster

anxiousnow · 28/06/2017 02:31

OK thank you. I will try not to blurt it out
Thank you for the Shirley V clip didn't make me feel better but made me laugh thanks

OP posts:

VestalVirgin · 28/06/2017 02:35

Stretch marks are a normal part of the female anatomy, if he doesn't know to expect them, that's not your fault. No reason to warn about them.

It is not like you have a second head growing out of your tummy or something.

Original poster

anxiousnow · 28/06/2017 02:37

Lol well it isn't just stretch marks it is a whole baggy tummy that if i go on all fours falls with absolutely no muscle tone. So not another head but pretty damn scary

OP posts:

Shadow666 · 28/06/2017 02:49

Lots of men have stretch marks too. No one has a perfect body. I'm there's something he feels insecure about too.

Lynnm63 · 28/06/2017 02:54

I think most men wouldn't care. I was very slim after three dc, csections and numerous operations, my scars look like some horror story tube map. My dh doesn't bat an eyelid and still thinks I'm gorgeous. I think he needs his eyes testing! We are our own worst critics. You will be thinking oh god my stretch marks and he'll be thinking oh god I've finally got anxiousnow naked and in my bed, I'm so lucky.

ShatnersWig · 28/06/2017 07:59

As long as you aren't going to go off him when you discover he doesn't have a toned taut body and has a few extra pounds and slight love handles, it's a non issue.

CherriesInTheSnow · 28/06/2017 08:32

I was going to say what Shadow said :)

My OH grew rapidly to 6 ft 1 as a teenager and has stretchmarks on his butt. I love them!

My best friend also has stretchmarks somehow on her boobs even though she is very slender, small and is an A cup. So really, anyone can have them and it's perfectly normal, and doesn't reflect or detract from sexiness at all

FinallyHere · 28/06/2017 08:34

And really, if the fact that you look like a human being and not the way a plastic, blow up doll would look without clothes on, would actually put him off, then the sooner you know about that the better.

Most men people prefer the real live human version, it's best to avoid the others who prefer plastic.

Littlefrogletx · 28/06/2017 08:42

I was worried about this too, i have 2 dc and used to be size 20 at 5 2 and now size 8/10 i look ok with clothes on but was so worried but new dp thinks im amazing, i also think he should get his eyes tested!
But it seems he isnt bothered and he has had some v pretty slim exs.
You do start to believe it eventually dont worry x

ZiggyForever · 28/06/2017 08:58

I reckon he'll probably worry that his own body isn't up to scratch, OP - men have issues too . . . good luck and just enjoy it!

Lovemusic33 · 28/06/2017 09:49

anxious I am the same, I'm a size 10 and I look pretty fit with clothes on. Under my clothes. Have really bad celulite, awaful stretch marks on the insides of my thighs and around my hips, I worry I will disappoint when I take my clothes off. I have had several partners since my ex h and none of them have mentioned it so maybe I'm just over thinking.

Isetan · 28/06/2017 09:51

This isn't really about him, it's how you feel about yourself and accepting who you are now. By warning him you are telegraphing that you are dissatisfied with how you look and that's way more unattractive then a jelly belly.

WellTidy · 28/06/2017 09:55

I am a size 10-12, after years of being a size 6-8. I have ripply fat from my knees to my boobs, folds of flab on my tummy and stretch marks all over my middle and a crepey tummy. I don't think many people would guess I had any of this with clothes on, but they don't bother me. I would love to be a stone lighter, but the appearance of my skin and the fact that I am saggy and flabby isn't a huge deal to me. There are people smaller than me and bigger than me. There are people with the same as me, and there are others with scarring, skin problems, excess hair, all sorts. I don't expect perfection in anyone and I wouldn't imagine that your new chap is expecting perfection in you either.

Funnyonion17 · 28/06/2017 09:59

Men aren't bothered about stuff like that and if they are they need to piss off! I've never had a man give two hoots about mine, I had 2 children when I met my DH and he wasn't fussed. He has them himself on his back from a growth spurt as a teen.

wafflesandicecream · 28/06/2017 10:14

I know how you feel, I look fairly decent when dressed but since having two dcs ( and never having set foot in a gym) my belly is wobbly with no muscle tone and I'm covered in stretch marks on my stomach and legs and boobs.
I was pretty terrified of dp seeing me for the first time- he has a rather nice body ( he's not allergic to the gym like me ) especially after the last guy I dated made many 'you should work out more comments'

Dp loves my stretch marks he always calls them my tiger stripes ( I don't like the term but it's what he uses) I feel a lot better about myself now I know it's a non issue to him after I made it such an issue in my own head.

Any man will expect them I think, I had a few stretch marks just from puberty and I think they are more common then people think.

Good luck op!

Littlefrogletx · 28/06/2017 10:27

I found that men dont zone in on the wobbly bits. They really dont
The more i got comfortable it went out of my head.
Fake the confidence, thats whats sexy, being comfortable and confident with what Youve got
There will always be someone out there that would kill for the good bits of you.
Make the most of the bits of your body your happy with and blag the rest.
Most men want a real woman, wobbly bits and all.
Its only women that scrutinise womens bodies
Men dont really give a monkeys

Original poster

anxiousnow · 29/06/2017 01:20

Thank you all. I am pleased so many of you are overcoming your own body issues. I know it is my issue rather than his. I have been handling this wrong it seems. Instead of hinting to him that what he thinks he is seeing isn't really what is going on underneath my clothing I need to act more confidently.
I am real but I think it is because the clothing really misleads. I know that if he reacts badly he isn't worth it but that rejection would be too much.
Thank you All, your comments have helped.

OP posts:

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