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New man

17 replies

katewilson5577 · 27/06/2017 22:16

Hiya,

I wondered if anyone might have any suggestions. I've been seeing a lovely bloke for the last 3 months. I fancy him rotten, and everything is going splendidly except for the bedroom side of things. He's very into to me and eager to please, and regularly gives me orgasms with his tongue. But when we try PIV he tends to go soft withut orgasming in around 1-2 minutes - thats if we get that far. Often he goes soft as soon as we put the condom on.

I really enjoy our bedroom time, but its getting to the point where I am desprate for a jolly good seeing to via PIV, and he is clearly becoming very distressed at his failures to perform for me.

Has anyone else experienced this and has a suggestion on what might work to resolve it? He seems to wake up with very solid erections when I stay over, so it clearly works. And I can get him erect with hand or mouth. We just can't work out why it won't work for PIV.

He reckons he might have been single too long (has been 5 years he says) and be too used to his hand over stimulating him? Is that even possible?

He's made a GP appointment, but I reckon it can't be medical if he wakes up with erections?

Kate

OP posts:
BadHatter · 27/06/2017 22:25

It can be. With your hand you can control the tightness of your grip... some guys masturbate with very loose grips, some with tighter grips. There is no right or wrong way, guys will just do what feels best.

If he masturbates with a grip tighter than you're vagina, he probably has a lot of trouble with feeling pleasure. Doubly so if he's wearing condoms.

If the sex doesn't cause any sensations (due to looser vagueness bs hand grip and the barrier of the condom) then yes, a guy will go limp.

No pleasure/feeling = no erection

I am a guy and this has happened to me a couple of times whenever I've worn condoms (even in my teens/early 20s). When it happened I just didn't feel anything and it killed my mood.

It's never happened when I go without the condom.

springydaffs · 27/06/2017 22:28

He's right to contact his GP as it's likely to be a problem in the head region ie he's got some kind of mental block for some reason. It's finding out that reason is the detective work...

Can he afford private counselling? It would be quicker - the NHS waiting list is absurdly long, if you get referred at all. Barely any funding for anything to do with the head region, sadly.

YetAnotherGuy · 27/06/2017 22:31

Just the usual suggestion - get him to try Viagra, or the cheaper generic version, Sildenafil. Initially the 25mg version

This can be obtained via online prescription. He can get it from well known pharmacies

It is an amazing drug, which works for most men

Delancy · 27/06/2017 22:37

Isn't this one of the effects of long term use of porn?
I think it's reversible, by abstaining from porn ...

TheNaze73 · 28/06/2017 07:44

He could maybe try a more sensitive condom?

ShatnersWig · 28/06/2017 08:06

Delancy Yes, along with hairs growing on the palms of his hands.

You do know an awful lot of men will masturbate regularly without porn?

Changedname3456 · 28/06/2017 08:15

Without being too graphic, have you tried to take advantage of the morning glory? Slipped a condom on and tried to just go for it? Same results?

SleepFreeZone · 28/06/2017 08:18

DP has only ever had issues when we used condoms. I don't know if it's that moment when you stop to put it on or whether it's the feeling when it's on, but the only time we struggled with his erection was when we used condoms.

noego · 28/06/2017 08:54

If you can get him hard with hand and mouth then perhaps the vag might be a little more open "shall we say" can you grip his penis with your vag?

sunnywithadashofgin · 28/06/2017 09:00

Could be the condom is too small!

sunnywithadashofgin · 28/06/2017 09:01

Pressed post too soon. Had similar issues but got some from "theyfit" which resolved it.

HarmlessChap · 28/06/2017 10:10

Sounds like ED to me, another vote for sildenifil (Viagra) as said above try a 25mg dose to start with.

It doesn't give an erection it facilitates one which is stronger and lasts. The fact he has erections at other times (morning) has nothing to do with it.

peachgreen · 28/06/2017 14:53

It's very common for men to get used to masturbation - google 'death grip' and you'll find lots of tips.

Swallalala · 28/06/2017 14:56

No advice for your post OP but it might be worth changing your name as this could be very identifying...

NotTheFordType · 28/06/2017 15:15

Might be worth trying a female condom if you suspect he's suffering from "condom wilt". Sensation for him is much closer to bareback. (So I'm told. I don't have a penis myself.)

SnoogyWoo · 28/06/2017 19:54

100% it's nerves. Does he get a bit sweaty when it happens as well?

Queenofthedrivensnow · 28/06/2017 20:33

It's nerves and condoms. Had this problem using condoned with exp and he was quite anti porn!

I got a coil fitted and it was a ltr - problem solved!

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