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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The last straw that broke the camel's back, and (hopefully) new beginnings down the long road of separation

0 replies

ExpatTrailingSpouse · 27/06/2017 17:47

just a vent/rant/sounding board.

the last straw came when i got diagnosed with precancerous cells, and not only was the cheating H concerned more with his own feelings and his own worry (didn't ask me for 5 days how i felt about the whole thing til i pointed out not once had he asked), but also tried to absolve himself of any possible guilt (cos he likely gave me what caused it) by now saying he had never slept with anyone else in his life. yep, like i'm gonna buy that one. gave him an update on the medical, cue constant hassling me over details (which i don't have), and telling me i have to talk to him about it because that's what HE wants.

things i will not miss - the constant gaslighting, lying, cheating, selfishness, incompetence, thoughtlessness, putting his career before his family in all things, etc.

ridiculous things he's since said:

  • i didn't cheat because we didn't have sex
  • i had an affair but i'm not a cheater
  • it wasn't romantic or a sexual relationship (after multiple trips abroad together)
  • of course i made sure i didn't fiddle the books on expenses (most trips were work trips)
  • it's not fair you get to keep your car and i keep mine because yours is worth more than mine.

i'm sure there is more to come. longing for the light at the end of the long tunnel.

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