Struggling with something my ex did to me *trigger warning*

[Whatwasthispleasehelp]

My ex moved out 3 months ago, I've changed my username as he knows my other one. Just to warn you this is about possible sexual abuse as I don't want anyone to read it and to get triggered

A few years ago something happened and I didn't realize at the time how bad it was. He basically kept on at me for sex and pestering me and groping me until in the end I had no choice to do it, so while I didn't say no, I gave in as I didn't feel I had a choice? I didn't realize until recently when I went to the women's centre as I know they offer counseling, that he was controlling, financially abusive and emotionally abusive. They said giving in is not the same as consent (on the freedom program) and that it could be classed as rape. I had no idea, and it's really knocked me. I didn't talk about my personal situation. It's also made me think about other things he did, over the space of years he used to try and wake me up in the morning for sex, by fingering me and groping me, I would pretend to be asleep but he wouldn't give up, in the end I had to tell him to please stop and then he just sulked.

I'm on the waiting list for counseling but have a contact for the lady who I initially saw, I need to speak the someone about what's happened as I didn't mention it at the time, it's only by doing the freedom program that I realized what had happened.

I just need to say it out loud I think? Is there anyone else who can help, or is the women's centre the best way forward? Thank you

Well done for sharing this with the appropriate professionals - you should get some really good support.

Horrible to be coerced / blackmailed into sex - thank goodness he's an ex.

If you just want to talk then you could call the Samaritans

Glad he's an ex too

OP I have been in your situation with two ex's, happened very regularly and I remember how awful it is. Used to cry in bed in the dark when I 'gave in'. I was young and was made to feel like I wasn't a normal 20 year old because I didn't want sex all the time, yet looking back, it was obviously because they were massive wankers. Some men just do not respect the fact you have a choice.

Now with the most fantastic patient man who has helped me move on from all of this. I do wish I had realised it was a problem much earlier and got some help. Good luck to you

Thank you and sorry you went through it too Starp I have a best friend who I can tell anything too, and he knows a bit about what's happened and I know I can tell him, but I don't want to burden him though?