This is just a break-up rant.

[MayJuneJuly]

I need a little rant and don't have real life people around at the minute.

I recently ended my relationship ultimately because my partner was showing some arrogant behaviour and it was starting to bother me. I won't go into details of it all.

amongst other things he started to make comments around my parenting and 'problems he could foresee in my future because he was very good at judging these things'

That was pretty much the last straw for me and I was trying to gently back away. He took this as me being too defensive and said he had a list of 50 things I should change to make my life better.

I had a list of one thing and that was to ditch him. Which I did.

I know I was right to do that.

The thing is, I'm a little concerned about his behaviour since. He just won't take no for an answer. He's so so certain we were perfect and he deserves a second chance.

He's turned up to work with flowers, been to the house to deliver a six page typed letter that was like a novel of why he behaved as he did and how much he loves me. He whatsapped a lot - I asked that he stopped. He didn't respect that so I blocked him. Then he started texting so I blocked him there. Now he's found me on a dating app and sent me a ton of messages on there so I had to block him on there too.

He is getting increasingly more frustrated I'm not taking his word as fact and he has no interest in my opinion at all. I am worried now he's blocked on everything he will just turn up. I don't know what to say to him to get him to leave me alone.

I'm not really asking for advice but I just feel a bit uneasy but not for reasons that I can explain to others so need to vent it here.

Keep a record of his actions and consider calling 101 to ask the police for advice as it sounds like he's stalking you

So he's cyberstalking you. I know that sounds dramatic but that's exactly what it is. The fact that he's not (yet) making threats isn't relevant, he is contacting you against your wishes, repeatedly.

Your feelings are quite understandable. His behaviour is threatening, and unsettling, and it needs to stop. Would you consider going to the police? At minimum please do keep a record of all contact.

If you need to, warn him.....go away or you ring the police.
Then stop responding.
Don't answer the door to him.
Say thro it that he has five mins to go or you'll ring for help.
Save all msgs xxx

I think he feels he can guilt me into taking him back. All this 'I'm half a man now' stuff.

I really hope he leaves me alone. I hate all this drama and all it's done has made me even more sure he's arrogant beyond belief. It's all about him.

I agree, sounds like arrogance. He can't quite believe that you mean it and the relationship is over.

Definitely keep a record, OP, and if you start feeling increasingly uneasy I'd speak to the police.

Keep a record and possibly send a solicitor's letter telling him to desist all contact.

Record and print every message with time stamp. Police now. Send him a clear final text: DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN.
No response to any text after. Just record and print. Keep a copy of all messages with a trusted friend and a copy of all communication with the police. Do not be "kind" or polite to him. Just very direct and mean it when you say you will go to the police

If he shows up at work, call the police and make sure there are witnesses that saw that you told him to go away.

Aww hun I've been exactly where you are now.
My ex He used to turn up sleep outside my house in the car write me letters, leave me gifts on my door step.
And text me hundred's of times a day when I didn't relent he turned nasty.
Don't let it get that far phone the police keep everything he sends you & don't reply to him.
Take care Dee x

Thank you for your advice everyone.

He is blocked everywhere now so I am a little concerned what will be his next step.

His arrogance has shocked me though. Why can he not just accept that I don't feel like he does?

I really feel like I've dodged a bullet here. He is completely refusing my feelings and saying because he knew it was right I need to just believe that.

I don't think he would ever have physically hurt me but clearly he would have been coercive and controlling mentally.

He sounds very much like a guy I was seeing for a while.
Has he got a degree in psychology by chance?

He hasn't rockabilly... he doesn't have a degree. (which is why his last job didn't work out - they were stuck up middle class workers waving their degrees around... this makes so much sense with hindsight!)

Good advice above. Your instincts are clearly telling you something here, so don't feel bad about not being able to explain why you feel uneasy! His behaviour is not normal and not acceptable.

I hate to bring this up but we all know that former partners are statistically speaking one of the greatest dangers to women's lives. So we can't afford to ignore this type of thing.

I assume you've read the oft-recommended classic 'The Gift of Fear'?

I think contacting the police for advice would probably be my next step, though there's probably a good chance of getting the brush-off. Do others have good suggestions for charities/groups who give advice and support in this area?

Ah, just checking in case it was the same man! He sounds eerily familiar!
The police will call him and give him a warning, hopefully that'll be enough to deter him from contacting you again.

Thanks Chump. I will have a look at that book as I haven't read it.

I know that statistics so it is a tiny concern of mine.

It's just that he is so quick to dismiss my feelings as wrong it makes me feel it'll take time for him to get the message.

Rockabilly - so glad he's you ex. Wouldn't wish this type of guy on anyone!

May the guy was a lunatic. Made out he was great when we first met, lots of stories about his terrible exs. Turned out he was the terrible ex!
Nightmare to get rid of but quickly moved onto his next victim.