Said to hurt or warn?

[bunnyhun]

We are arguing so much lately it's unbearable. About anything and everything, it's just ongoing, for months if not years. I'm so stressed.

Recently I questioned him about something and he flew off the handle saying I don't trust him. You know when things just don't add up, you have to question things or it drives you insane!

Anyway, he looked me straight in the face and blurted out that if something was going on I'd never know about it, he repeated it to. It wasn't just what he said but also the clearness that he said it. Almost laughing at me. Now I'm left wondering, even more so. Was he bragging? Was it meant to crush me? Was it a threat? It has really hurt me especially as almost 18 years ago he did have an affair and I knew nothing until he blurted that out. My feelings then were completely overwhelming and even now in certain situations I'm taken straight back to all those years ago. How can it still feel so raw?! I try to talk to him as I just want to sort things out but he hides away and refuses to listen or talk saying he doesn't want to fight anymore but it's clear he doesn't want us to get on any better either. It's so draining I'm on the brink of crying all the time but struggling to hide it. It's all making me paranoid and anxious.

I'm sorry op but what exactly is keeping you with him?

He sounds really nasty... And it doesn't sound like there's even a sense of peace between you, let alone happiness?

I'm sorry, it seems like he holds you in contempt.I'm not sure it's recoverable once you are at that stage.

Sadly there does seem to be a pattern where men who cheat treat the wives awfully during the affair stage.

Trust your instinct

Have you visited the chump lady website yet?

You need it.

Sounds exactly like he has been having affair after affair and you know it deep down but choose to ignore it. Presumably he is working up to leaving for the latest one.

Why have you stayed with someone you only argue with? Do you hate yourself or something?

It shouldn't be surprising to him that you don't trust him.

I'm sorry to say that it really should be the end. He obviously knew he was hurting you & did so intentionally. There is no coming back from that. Draw your inner strength & tell him to you've had enough & want him to leave. Don't put up with his emotional abuse any longer.

This is painful to read op. I can't imagine what it must be like to actually live it

Why are you still together?
Years of bickering and fighting and arguing?
Life is waaaaaay too short to live it like this!

To me that indicates he'd have no problem cheating on you, in fact he seems to take delight in telling you this; I'd not trust him and I'd not want to be with a person that could say such a horrible thing; believe him.

What is the point being with him anyway, years of fighting and bickering, that's not normal and such a waste of your life.

Oh love, you sound crushed to me.

Time to call it a day don't you think? What's stopping you? Maybe we can help.

It was a taunt, if he's already cheating on you. It was a threat, if he's not.

So sorry to read this,i was married to someone who used to say things like this,and had several affairs
I had to leave in the end,took a while to get over it, but so glad i did
Please leave this horrible man, he is lowering your self esteem
Leave while you are young enough to start again, and find a new loving relationship, eventually

Does it make a difference to you if it was said to hurt or to warn you? Either way it sounds as though he's being horrible to you, and it's having a huge impact on you.

Do you want to carry on feeling anxious, upset and belittled emotionally by him?

Said to confess, perhaps. Maybe he's smug cos you've got hold of the wrong thing, suspicion-wise, but there's something else. It sounds horrible anyway, I think you would be happier out of the relationship.

He said it to hurt you, that's for sure. What I couldn't say is whether there's any truth behind it though.

Life is too short to be stuck with an arsehole. Everyone deserves to be happy and I think you'd be so much happier without him.

If my husband said that to me, I would pretty much assume it was an admission. And yes, I'd be walking. He's basically told you that you can't trust him.

That's not something a husband should say.... he shouldn't be your husband! Get rid