When will life get better?

[longwaytogoandabitfurther]

Dh moved out last wed, his mother died on sat, and now to top it all i've got a fine from DVLA because I sold my car just before christmas and gave all the registration docs to the garage and it hasn't been re taxed.

Just so flipping confused and hurt and wondering how on earth life got like this.

He has been telling me tht he loves me for the last 20 months since his affair with my best friend, and now all of a sudden he says that all that was lies and he didn't really love me and hasn't for a long time.

He has 4 gorgeous dc. But now I don't know if I would have him back if he wanted to, he has put me through affair, finding out that he has been a codiene addict for last 11 years, that he was abused for 4 years as a young teenager.

Oh I give up its all too hard to explain.

So sorry to hear all that. Couldn't let your post go unanswered - you must feel at rockbottom. I really hope things will start to improve for you - sorry I can't offer anything more constructive but sympathy.

As far as the DVLA though, do you have any proof that you sold the car, and when? If you have anything in writing that would prove you are not responsible for taxing it.

nope don't think so

Oh dear ...........could you write to them and just explain that you sold the car and gave the papers to the garage, and give the name of the garage? Worth a try? I guess that is the least of your worries - sorry I am not much help. Do you have any other emotional or practical support?

mums just gone home all relatives live 150 miles away. have some good friends though.

Good friends are a blessing. Let them know how they can help you - don't be afraid to ask. It sounds like you have to move on from here - you say you don't know if you would have your dh back - but it seems like he has caused you too much pain. Sorry - you may have posted more about this elsewhere and others may be more help to you. Do you think getting some counselling through your GP would be worth considering? I have to go now, but will say a prayer for you.

Don't take him back. Be strong.
It IS hard now and it will not be an easy path you are now on but remind yourself how much better it is than the affair/lack of trust/compulsive lying etc...
It's all very raw for you right now and you're bound to feel for him because of his mother dying but don't get drawn into trying to rescue him...

Do you feel relieved that he's gone?

When you take a car to the garage I thought the seller (you) is supposed to keep part of the form and send that off to DVLA and the garage keeps a small bit at the bottom. Why wasn't that done? Also you can get the garage to fax DVLA tomorrow with proof of the date the garage bought it or took it for scrap.

Other things are harder to deal with.

My Dad was just like him.
Affair, multiple lies, steriod addict-left came back, left again etc. very long story.
I used to listen to my Mum crying herself to sleep...
But you know what- she is so happy now.
Like she says she never really acheived anything for herself until my Dad left her.
Things are shit for you now but I bet you can turn them around.

Well said ImmiesMum...

I have been there and I won't lie to you it was a long hard slog... (also made the mistake of letting ex back into my bed a few times after her left when I was feeling needy - trust me - do NOT go there it messes with your head!)

It took time, a fair bit of time to sort myself out but do yu know what I have such pride in my children now and myself for coming through it... and just like ImmiesMum's Mum (!) what I achieve now feels great...

(I was on my own for 4 years before meeting dh2..but that's probably too much information... just take one day at a time. Sort out things as they come at you and don't let everything become a mountain to have to deal with...sort the DVLA out asap)

PM me whenever you want someone to talk to eh?

DVLA is pants there is noone you can speak to with regards the fine you just have to put your case in writing. Pants, pants, pants. And now to top it all he's had his license taken off him for 12 months because of the fit he had just before christmas.

[[[[[[hug]]]]]]]]

write to the DVLA NOW - you will feel better immediately

nowornever i wrote tothem yesterday