DP disappeared!

[NoBloodyMore]

I've been with my boyfriend for 16 months, we've been on/off in that time largely due to the fact we're long distance and it's been difficult fitting that in around us both working and my children. He's very introverted and will often withdraw for a few days but I can usually see when this is imminent.

This weekend we met halfway in between and had a spa break, I left him at 2pm Saturday and all was fine apart from he's really hurt his back. He text a few times Saturday aft to let me know he's got home etc, and then nothing! His phone has been switched off from 6pm Saturday and none of my WhatsApp delivered. He's not been on Facebook.

I'm worried sick he's ill or something and I can't get in touch, he's in the forces and due in this morning after 3 weeks off, I'm assuming somebody will question it if he doesn't turn up.

I can't decide if I'm just being overly anxious, we usually WhatsApp every day several times, and I've never known his phone to be off. it has had me awake most of the night. And if he's not Ill I'll bloody kill him for putting me through this just cause he can't be arsed to communicate, any advice?

oh god, can you imagine this sort of shit just recurring regularly for the rest of your life? How tiring

Oh bloody hell lass. Definitely cut ties, or he goes gets the help he needs. He can't keep doing this to you (or anyone else); and, you're worth far more than being dangled on the end of his whim or issues. To stop talking mid-conversation and then go so cold is so far beyond the acceptable norm.

Yep in what world does he think it's ok to just turn his phone off for 2 days mid conversation with no prior warning that he was even in a mood, we'd had 2 great days at the spa no indication of any issues but that's always going to be the problem the issue will be in his head and I've got no chance of ever resolving it cause he doesn't communicate it.

I'm done, I'm absolutely shattered and have to juggle 3 kids & work now this week, it really is not worth the effort.

I had a boyfriend like that before (also in the forces) and he was horrendous. I ended it because I just couldn't take being treated with such little respect. He'd happily leave me worried for days on end then pop up like nothing happened.

I'm now married (another forces member) and one of the things I value in our marriage is the openness and lack of game playing, just straight forward trust and love.

You are best of out of it and finding someone who respects you enough not to mess you around like that

My ex used to disappear off the radar and then I'd just get a text 'hello' .

You really are best off without all the angst and anxiety , a relationship shouldn't be this difficult X

He's just text, "I'm ok, just having my usual blip" I've just text back & told him to fuck off

Good for you! Life is too short for that sort of crap isn't it, and no matter how nice they are when together it doesn't make up for the mindfuck does it.

Have you every considered that his 'blips' are other women?

Could be riding but given he's 3 hours away he'd have no need to hide it as a blip, he just draws more attention to himself this way, he's also very socially awkward

Goop for you OP. His mental health is his responsibility and if he won't face up to any issues then you really can't do it for him.

This all sounds very familiar, he's not Welsh is he?

WELL DONE YOU MARVELLOUS WOMAN

Don't tolerate this utter nonsense. Depressed people don't behave like this. He's made a conscious choice to do this to you. And I'm so pleased to read you've made a conscious choice to tell him the relationship bar with you is an awful lot higher

Honestly, he will just keep doing this. On and on. Focus on your kids and your life and cut ties with him. How dare he just go silent on you mid conversation.

Well done for putting yourself and your kids first

His brother just stopped me on the school run (he lives near me) his grandads in hospital and critical and they've all been trying to get hold of him too. I text him and passed the message on and he replied he'd spoken to his sister last night, so he'd switched his phone on at some point and conciously ignored all my messages despite me being obviously worried.

I'm beyond fuming, even his brother just said he's pathetic & I can do better. Blocked him on Facebook etc now

Sorry to hear about his grandad, and that the ex is such a.... [insert expletive of choice].

It's a shame about his grandad but good that you've had confirmation that he's a twat!

Good for you. I'm sick of hearing about men treating women like this and getting away with it.