feeling unequal & inadequate jusf beacause im on mat leave

[user1498420617]

My Dh works hard and earns alot of money, he's always had an issue about money and we have our own accounts whixh is fone as i dont want to feel like hes watching what I spend. The issue is I've just begin my 4th month of mat leave where I now get stat pay and he's not helping me pay my side of the bills! I can pay everything with mat pay apart from the food shop and any extras. I feel guilty when I ask for £10 to go for a coffee at a soft play. He gives me the money by then jokes about the fact I have none and always reminds me he's paid for things. it's quite hard as I've always been finaniaclly dependant but him being like this is making me question the type of person I've been with for the past 5 years. what would you do?

There's no way he 'didn't realise' he should help support his family. He is selfish and greedy and that is deeply unpleasant.

"he didn't realise"

Really? You haven't told him?
All money should be pooled and you have the same amount of spending money each.

The "with you I share all my worldly goods" section of the marriage vows would be a clue

Why are you taking even a portion of the blame here? You are married to a selfish, abusive man. I can't believe how badly you are being treated. I'd leave this utter bastard.

I have just dropped to stat mat pay. We have always seen money as communal/pooled even though we don't use a joint acc so now my dh just transfers a chunk of money to cover any bills that come out of my account and then I let him know how much more I need for incidentals and he transfers that also. And his work bonus is sat currently in my premium bonds which I can dip into as I need if I am running short whilst on mat leave. No issues.

I would never have married him if it was going to be anything other than this

Make sure you get the PIN number to his account otherwise you will end up paying for things which should be paid for from family money - baby stuff, childcare, days out etc

Arsehole behaviour from him. When you go back to work, which is essential with an H who acts like this, use his substantial earnings to pay for a nanny, given that you will need to work hard to avoid being financially dependent on him.

I am so sorry you are in this situation. Family money is such a big issue and seem to cause no end of problems.

My dh pays all our bills and then gives me money every month to spend as i need on the children , myself, house, etc without every asking where it goes. I was on mat leave and then due to his shifits have had to give up work which he knows i hate and to be honest even with all of that I still resent him and its causing issues in our marraige as I want to work but due to him changing jobs against my pointing out how it wouldnt work for our family he took it anyway for the money!

If anyone knows of any jobs working 10-2pm three days a week paying £18k please let me know