I need to leave my marriage, practical questions

[Supermog01]

Hi everyone I want to leave my marriage and I am looking for some advice.

Been married 4 years together for 9, I have one daughter with my husband. I have eventually come to the conclusion that I am better of not married anymore after years of financial abuse and recently emotional abuse. I am fed up of asking to the point of almost begging for my husband to do things as a family or even just with my daughter, if his problem is with me.
My husband has shares in 3 businesses, which handily are all in his business partners names, he really does not actively work within the businesses and just over sees the running of them. I am fed up of him sleeping all day and leaving the house 30 minutes before I collect out daughter from school declaring he is very busy and the arriving home an hour before bed and mainly sitting on Facebook leaving again after our daughter is asleep. He arrives home again at around 1:30-3 am- hence sleeping all day.
He makes my life harder, and I don't want that anymore.

I am not sure if he will bother to see our daughter after separation, this is my main concern as she will be devastated however I think long term it will cause less damage than living in the environment we are now.

I have very little money. I have just returned to work after several years off, I could only find work term time as my husband refused to be available for child care despite being free to do so. I have calculated my entitlement to tax credits etc already and honestly due to the financial abuse I will be no worse off financially. I live in a HA property and have already had discussions with them re having him removed from the tenancy.

I am planning on making a solicitor appointment to discuss my options but will need to wait a few weeks until I will have a chance to attend an appointment unless I can ask for time off for this, which I would rather not do as it is a new job.

I want to ask about assets if anyone can help me, as my husbands businesses are in others names I am presuming that these can't be touched at all?
The last time I saw bank statements around Dec-Jan time there was approx £30,000 across 3 bank accounts, he has since switched to online banking and no longer has paper statements. As these accounts are in his name only can I claim anything from this in divorce??
I am sure once he gets wind of me wanting to divorce he will empty the accounts, can this be prevented?
Also there is approximately £10,000-£12,000 in cash hidden in our house, I am pretty sure he is unaware that I know about it. It is from the businesses which he hides thus avoiding paying tax. I want very much to remove this cash and keep it for myself as I am sure he will empty bank accounts and lower his wage slips to avoid paying for his daughter. Can I do this? At least then I can afford a solicitor

I feel horrible in thinking that I want to take him for as much as I can but I have reached my breaking point after today having to repeatedly ask for cash for his sky sports subscription which has already exited my account only to be told I have to wait as he doesn't have money when there is several thousand in the house

Sorry for the length and thanks for reading

Honestly the 3k is nothing,

It is 30k not 3k sorry if I was not clear

Take all the cash and bank it...

It may drop him in it, he may well be entitled to 50% of it however I can guarantee you'll never get another penny from him due to the way he has set the accounts up.

The banks will likely ask questions and I can imagine it being hard to deposit it due to money laundering, I would perhaps hand it over to the solicitor for safe keeping whilst you resolve the issue of declaring it and banking it.

He will kick off when he discovers it is gone - I wonder about going to a refuge and taking the cash at the same time???

Wouldn't that be theft? A criminal offence? The fact that the relationship is over is a matter of emotion. Something which the law does not deal with.

Presumably to declare it as theft he'd have to admit it exists. I'd think if you can get a fair way through the divorce before he finds out it might be possible to get something. Cancel the sky sports now. It takes a month to actually cancel.

i like the idea of seeing if I can get the solicitor to hold the money even if he can get half of it.

I was worried about being in trouble for theft however surly with it being in my house and being married then it's also my money so I would be entitled to take it??

Thanks for the advice

I will sit tight a little longer and get everything in order until I am actually ready to serve divorce papers. The element of surprise may be a good thing giving him less time to empty the bank accounts

I would get copies of his bank statements now if you can. If one party in a divorce tries to hide / move money it is viewed VERY negatively.

I think you just have to be open and transparent with the solicitor so that they can properly advise you.

Hope you are ok.

But you have would commit theft on money that isn't legit because it hasn't gone through the tax man. If you're saying he's a twat what better way too cause you hell than admit the money was there and you was helping him diddle the money through the business.

I see your point. I only found this money on Saturday so maybe if I'm honest about that and deposit it with a solicitor not spending anything then that would be the best choice here.
I am going to collect copies of statements for all accounts which are filed under the bed o have from 2013 up until Jan of this year when he no longer had statements sent