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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to move on after this much drama?

6 replies

Notanotherstickerbook · 25/06/2017 18:16

'D'H and I have been married now for 5yrs and have 2 DC under 4years old. I have little to no other family or support network. I'm the main earner putting in 12hr shifts sometimes in a very stressful role. He's got a diagnosed MH condition and I've tried to care for him. There have been times he's been vile, told me he hated me.c He's done some pretty cruel things too like trying to take the family car the day before we were booked to go on holiday, leaving me stranded with two devastated kids. He's now much better, things are slowly returning to normal. Then I discover he's been meeting and messaging women behind my back. When he was being dreadful to me he was nipping round to see his OW to help her out. I got my car damaged and he screamed at me, left me in tears. She got burgled and he was round like a flash. Loads of other examples but they would be too identifying. How do I even move on from this now. I am exhausted, financially wrecked and feel like the most undesirable person in the world.

OP posts:
JimmyChoosChimichanga · 25/06/2017 18:36

Solicitor. LTB. Get divorced. Be happy.

Gingerandgivingzerofucks · 25/06/2017 22:23

Don't do anything for him. Can you kick him out? You need to consider your future and own happiness. Don't stick with him and ruin your life.

Pallisers · 25/06/2017 22:26

it is over. He doesn't love or like you enough. Leave him. move on. you'll be a lot happier.

cestlavielife · 25/06/2017 22:27

And his good points are ??
Are you trying to say his behaviour is due to his mh?
Whether it is or is not you don't have to live with it.
Don't subject your dc to it.
Get advice
Divorce.
Live a nice life

Notanotherstickerbook · 25/06/2017 22:38

I know it has to come to an end now. Just needed to get it off my chest. Much of the behaviour has been down to his MH, and has improved since diagnosis and with medication. Just so hurt to think I went through hell and back with him meanwhile he's been nipping round every other bed, I'll bet he's not been such a gobshite to any of his other women. Thanks for responding, I get it looks so simple on the face of it but the situation is complicated.

OP posts:
tomatoplantproject · 25/06/2017 22:52

LTB

If you're not ready to do that ask him to move out while he sorts his MH issues out, and then make a decision to LTB.

MH seems a pretty handy excuse for treating you badly. I'm not sure you can get over it or if he should be asking you to.

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